Dream Entry: Bavarian Penis and Sheath Crime

Sometimes I have dreams which seem very... uh... tricky to share in my blog.  But part of me thinks it may be best not to be afraid of how crazy they get.  After all, dreams are always going to be interesting things as far as I am concerned.

So here is one of those dreams that I had to think about before posting, given its controversial content.  Don't say I didn't warn you.

Dream begins with me and Rocky both in our swimming shorts.  We are supposedly in this underground river cave with a bunch of our friends from PG4M.  It is some kind of an outing and we are crawling around the tight crawlspaces illuminated only by lines of sunlight or these strong white lamps screwed onto the walls.   Two of our dearest new friends, L and J are nearby and excited call us to come close.  Rocky walks up to them while I wade in the waist deep water to see what's up.

Sorta like this, but with more holes where sunlight streams down, and more spongy sand areas where you can dig about and lie down.

"We got you both a unique present which is sure to excite you!" L declares with a smile and produces a box.  Rocky takes the box and begins opening it, while I submerge myself into the water by hugging my knees. I rise up to see Rocky holding this silicon-dildo which roughly matches my actual.. uh... erect size.  I find myself impressed with how accurate it was crafted and I end up blushing.  "I made it," L proudly proclaims.

"The gift showcases my highly-praised homemade secret sauce," J smiles and points out to Rocky how it has a channel pretty much like a urethra.  Sealed as a default, if squeezed (or shall we say, manipulated) the right way, the plaything squirts out a nicely viscous white syrup.  I blush as I tell them, "Guys hindi na namn kailangan niyan!"   But Rocky instead starts squirting all over the cave walls and me and jokingly proclaims, "Tobie does this too in our house, but he covers more walls."

Now just change donut to another shape and you get the idea.

I opt to head out and buy us something to eat.  I leave the tourist spot and find myself walking outside along the road (shirtless but in my wet swimming shorts which is under my jeans and shoes).  When I get to this place where I think the food was being sold (hard to recall this detail) a group of armed men show up and gather all us of there into their vans.  We end up being brought to some office somewhere and are told that at gun point that we will be stealing for them.  I get a sense they're some kind of NGO that needs funds and since it was election season, they were targeting this wealthy candidate.

They tells us all to strip off our clothes, and are given these aboriginal penis sheaths (in the dream it was  long cones of dried leaves/woven strips of paper, but to my recall in real life they use wood) and ski masks to wear.   Many start having issues with undressing and are threatened with guns again.  I just drop my clothes, and work on getting the penis sheath thing on me.  But the thing happens to be too short and uh... the girth isn't enough to accommodate me.  Complaining I need a bigger one, they end up telling me to "Go naked na lang."  ("Go naked instead.")

Minus the wood ring skirt.  But you get the idea.

As we head off to the target's place, I recall thinking to myself, "Buti na lang Rocky isn't here.  He's underground..."  ("Good thing Rocky isn't here.  He is underground..") which I know was because I was referring to him at that underground river thing, but I end up laughing as I wake up at the thought it could be misunderstood as him being a terrorist or rebel spy or something.

But yeah, me and my strange dreams.