July Update

So, I've been quite quiet on this blog for some time.   I will admit now that the silence was to a great part a reflection of how some parts of the year affected me.  There were some events in the first quarter and more so on the second quarter which kinda hit me hard.  But thankfully, this third quarter has been generally getting better with every passing week.

But enough.  Time to remind myself of what I have accomplished and celebrated in the last few months.

I now proudly can say I have some stuff in the table top gaming industry.

First, I helped translate/proof read the English release of the Italian Story Game Cartooner, which can be purchased on Drivethrurpg.   Originally I was being asked to review the game for my gaming blog, Tagsessions, but when I got the drafts I realized I wanted to help tighten the text and make the English easier and clearer to grasp.   To my surprise, Giovanni Micolucci - the game's creator - not only agreed to let me help with the English, but even added me to the book's credits!

So this marks my first official participation beyond merely just being a playtester (as I have been for other games such as Eloy Lasanta's Part-Time Gods or the 5th incarnation of Hero, I think it was).

Then, there was the Kickstarter for the game Heroine, which I backed.  The game allows a group to play a session where a Heroine goes through an adventure following staples such as Through the Looking Glass, Wizard of Oz and the like.   Josh Jordan, the creator of the game, messaged me to ask if I wanted to try writing a version of Heroine set in the Philippines and I jumped at the opportunity.

And so, Girls Elsewhere is now available on Drivethrurpg as well.  And I do hope that more and more of you guys check it out and support it.   I know it isn't anything that fancy, me being a contributor now to a book, but for me it is a HUGE step forward in realizing my dreams.

And then there's my job at Indigo Entertainment as a Game Designer.  I tell you, it still boggles the mind how fortunate and fulfilling it is to be in my position.  I design games for a living.  I come up with ideas and work out mechanics, systems, stories and experiences for others to enjoy and get paid to do it.  And I've even worked with greats such as Cartoon Network and the like.  Oh my god.  I tell you, I still am overwhelmed by the fact I have this job.    Even more awesome?  Part of my job is helping the gang experience and get exposed to even more games, so yeah I've been running various table-top games and story games for the last few months to help broaden the horizons of those who are willing to try it at work.    So in a way, you can say I am paid to run games too.  And now, I just might be doing this as a full-time job.

Maybe those are the signs I have to finally see.

I had dreams for film.  For comics.  For television.
Film and television kept getting side-tracked by relationships, by wars on terror, and by financial problems.  The dreams of bringing my parents home an Oscar someday were I guess dreams that were meant to be forgotten.  Wrote a bunch of scripts.  Some even got produced as plays in Los Banos, or were considered for short film treatment.  But naw, I doubt anyone even noticed or heard of them.  

Comics kept getting overwhelmed by cliques.  By lack of support.  I'd come up with cool, or original things to do, and others would barely notice.  Tenth year anniversary plans for my comic, Diliman, fell so flat I really felt crushed.  And mind you, I really had thought my friends would be there to celebrate with me.  And now, I can see so many of my friends moving forwards with their creations.  Touching people's lives.  Inspiring fans.

For some reason, there just wasn't the support or attention that I expected from them.   And to think I'd gone as far as directly asking for some friends before to support it.    I even got featured in a documentary, but surprisingly not a blimp on the social media side.  Not even after I shared the news with friends whom I had hoped would at least spread the word too. Yeah.  I guess its a sign for me to realize that those areas are just not meant for me.   And maybe if I ever try to dip my toes into those waters again, they'll be just for me to go for it and not for me to want to find an audience for it anymore.  

Maybe it was about time that I've seen what has been in front of me all this time.

Gaming is my niche.

And maybe it is about time I've focused my time instead on just making more and more gaming experiences for more to enjoy and celebrate.

So I promise myself to his these goals.  And here's a peek of what I have in the pipeline.
I have to finally finish and release the following:

Muses
A meta-game role-playing game where even the players themselves are characters in the game.  Play Immortals that wear Masks to enjoy the limitations of a mortal life.  In this game, using meta-game knowledge is part of the fun!  But beware, the Enemy lurks and worst of all, is the only person you really trust.

MEM:RE
In a world where you can remix your brain to tap into memories you need, where does identity and loyalty lie?  The Mission must be accomplished before time runs out.  And unlike most role-playing games, in Mem:RE games do unfold in real-time.

And maybe find a way to compile and release my other creations that are currently on Tagsessions.

Kumiho of the Nine: A KoreanDrama RPG
Cat Dreams/Neko Yume : A Ghibli Inspired RPG
Survivor the RPG
Black/White
Adventure Time Advanced
Adventure Time: Simplified RPG

Thankfully, my partner Rocky, has been tremendously supportive through all these moments in my life.  And so many other friends out there have been very encouraging and uplifting in their faith in my talents and abilities.  And even more, gaming idols such as Eloy Lasanta and John Wick have been willing to throw me an encouraging message or two when the going gets tough.

Life has been geekily amazing.
And it can only get better!

Democracy is dying.

(I'd say more but) it is illegal to criticize the government.

I absolutely AGREE.

‎"You have the right to be offended, and I have the right to offend you.

But no one has the right to never be offended." - Ricky Gervais.

I say, "Amen to that!"

The Philippines hates having its people get books aboad

Yep.

http://nbdb.gov.ph/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=749&Itemid=28

Rather than promote us getting books and reading, it tells us to spend more and pay more for stupid stamps and papers that aren't even necessary.   This is the sad state of the Philippines.

I love the Philippines.
I have no plans of working abroad.
Or migrating.

But damn it, why must my motherland have such a hatred for giving its people access to books?
Sad sad sad.

NetherRealm Studios... Nightmare FAIL.

How do you make Mortal Kombat more awesome?

You add Freddy Krueger.

How you do fuck up something that awesome?

You give him TWO gloves.




What's next?
Adding Sephiroth who uses a war hammer?
Or maybe including Batman but he uses a gatling gun?

You don't fuck up a character's iconic look by changing their signature weapon.

There was an earthquake earlier...

I was busy working on one of my jobs while Rocky was catching up on some well-deserved rest when I started to feel dizzy.  I wasn't quite sure why at first, until I realized I could feel the strange dizziness emanating from somewhere closer to my butt.  I looked immediately at the shelves and realized they were swaying.

It was an earthquake. 

Those in buildings like us, felt it more than those in houses.

The first surge quickly died down and I wondered if I should wake Rocky.  Part of me was feeling the urge to panic.  Would we have time to get out of the building if the quake gets really bad?  We were fourteen floors up.  While the drop, cover, and hang on basic earthquake procedure was in my mind, I wasn't quite sure if I was willing to trust the building's infrastructure if the quake happened to be a big one.    Of course, I immediately shot out a plurk so friends knew we were experiencing one.  At least, if anything happened to us, they'd have an idea what it was.

Yep, he was deeply comfortably sleeping.

The second surge came (likely the aftershock) and when it struck, I immediately left my desk, slid to Rocky's side and held him in my arms.  I was starting to nudge him awake, while taking note on whether or not the room was still shaking.  Part of me didn't want to wake him if it happened to just be a small quake.  The whole place had already become still and it seemed to be over.  I guess I was worried he wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.  I held him close and decided, if the shaking returned I would wake him.  Thankfully it didn't.  The tremors were gone.  And it was quiet again.

I was still holding Rocky in my arms when I realized something. If it had been the Big one, and the whole building came crashing down as the whole archipelago of the Philippines sunk into the sea or something just as dramatically inescapable happened, I realized I wouldn't feel sad at all.   I realized I would have died knowing I lived my life to the fullest I could each day, loving the man who I loved beyond anyone else, and celebrating a geeky gay life without any fear of whether or not others would ever approve of it.  I still had regrets of things in my past, that was true.  But if death actually came to claim us that very moment, the only regret I would have had would be that it ended sooner than I had hoped.  But otherwise, I felt we would die knowing our life was one filled with love and honest, true acceptance of one another.  I felt we would die with very fulfilled lives.

"Forget regret, or life is yours to miss." - No Day But Today

Still, I am happy it wasn't the BIG ONE.

The social networks quickly became abuzz with information and, non-surprisingly misinformation, about the quake.  It didn't take long for those to be quickly followed by taste-less tsunami jokes, and end-of-the-world fear-mongering from people who seemed to be convinced Nostradamus was "right" (he wasn't) and 9/11 + 3/11 somehow meant the 2012 end of the world thing that has been misinterpreted to be the Mayan's calendar was "right."  It was like the Forer effect, only instead of it being directly relating to an individual, it was finding meaning because one wanted there to be.

I rolled my eyes.

FEAR!!! FEAAR! That's all some people want to spread, really.
Under the guise of helping, all they want to do is sensationalize fear.  And share their own fear. 

I seemed to me people had this deep desire to sensationalize their fear.  Rather than embrace the facts that earthquakes are actually VERY frequent, and like storms, should just be accepted as part of nature which only really need our attention when the big ones hit, people love to talk about Earthquakes as something more like a time bomb that is "MEANT TO COME KILL YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES".   I totally support the idea of being prepared for a big one.  I know of some who have created an emergency bag filled with canned goods, biscuits, water bottles and flashlights.  I personally feel I should prepare such a kit again (I used to have one way back, but stopped keeping one back when I started thinking negatively of life).   But earthquakes, like storms, are inevitable natural occurrences which are not "out to get you."  They just really do happen.  And other than taking precautions or active roles in checking for the safety regulations of your home or place you live in, there really isn't much more you can do.

You can, however, also always choose to go against the fear.

Statistically, there is a bigger chance of dying from a car accident.  But you don't see people going all gaga texting their friends to avoid the streets.  And its not because we ignore the danger a drunk driver or an unsafe driver may pose.  Instead, its because we already do what we can to avoid that threat, and live our lives without fear of it.  Sure, the fear does come if one late night, a drunk driver swerves into view while you're on the street.  And yes, adrenaline does kick in as your survival instincts demand you to move.  But otherwise, we don't spend most of our day talking about deadly projectiles the size of small rooms careening down roads.  We accept cars as part of our life living in the city.

There are literally hundreds of things to be happy about.
If you can't think of any, you need to learn to actually LOOK

We should do the same with earthquakes.  We should live our lives to the fullest each and every day, enjoying everything life can offer us.  We should celebrate the joy of being alive and being intelligent human beings.  We should use our brains.  We should share our dreams.  We should shape our imaginations.

And if the big one hits, while we will do what we can to survive, if every day of our lives was a celebration of living, if death becomes inevitable, we can face that coming darkness with a resolute understanding that we have no regrets and if life ends that moment, it ends with us having spent each and every second of it to the fullest we can.

"The big one is coming..." so many seem to be terrified at the thought.  "Beware the Mariana Trench," some herald.  The Mayans were right.  Nostradamus was right.  The Bible was right.  All were speaking of fear and hopelessness under the guise of "being prepared."  Rather than just throw scary stories about, why not help educate people to the fact Earthquakes are natural events?  Why not help others be aware of how to act calmly and safely during a calamity such as an earthquake?  Why not prepare an emergency kit, and maybe even design an emergency system with your loved ones on how to keep in touch if the shit actually hits the fan.    That would be being prepared.  Hell, those would be far more productive than just sharing around another plurk or tweet about how Manila is built under a fault line.  Seriously. The PHILIPPINES is in the Ring of Fire.  What are you gonna do... leave the country?

Rather than spread fear rumors, why not share actual information.
Valid information.  Enough with "hearsay warnings" that never really help.

Enough with the fear-mongering.  Enough with being terrorists in our own social circles.
Let's be more productive, shall we?

And quite frankly, a big ass comet can slam into us and wipe us all out any time, like it nearly did back in 2001.  Now how are you gonna deal with that fact?  Fear-mongering?  Where you gonna go, fly to another planet?

Choose life.  Choose living without regrets.
Choose making each and every day a celebration of life.

And with that, be religious or not, you will find that you have gained an inner peace in knowing if death cannot be avoided, you leave with no regrets.

I choose to live a life that I celebrate every single day.
Time for you to decide how you live your life.

Distributors, Stop Fraking Up Foreign Movie Posters!

Dear Movie Distributors in the Philippines,

Let me start by saying while you are doing a good job of finding great movies for us Filipinos to watch, I really wish you did not have to do the things you do.  This is not only the third time I've seen this happen, but it is the third time I have blogged about this.

STOP MESSING UP THE POSTERS OF INTERNATIONAL MOVIES UNDER THE MISTAKEN BELIEF YOU ARE MAKING THEM BETTER.

AND STOP LYING IN HOPES OF MAKING A MOVIE SOUND "BETTER".  LET IT STAND BY ITS OWN MERITS.

In my blog, I shared before how the movie poster for Silent Hill was horribly mutilated into some Resident Evil action reject.  Months down the line, both Daybreakers and The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus were also given simply terrible local versions of their movie posters.  In many ways, I could see how you all thought you were making the movie look "more interesting" by inserting what you felt were "better" imagery to present the movie.  Do you really think that you are more capable than the marketing team and graphic artists who were originally commissioned by the film's production to handle things?  Do you really think making a science fiction movie like Daybreakers look more like a cheap b-movie horror thriller is a good move to push the movie further?  Or adding a gun to the lead in Silent Hill makes the horror look more like an action flick?  I do not even know what you hoped to accomplish with the Dr. Parnassus movie other than to capitalize on the stars by throwing away any semblance of aesthetic to have them all there.

Please.  A little bit of respect please to all the people who worked hard to conceptualize and develop these posters.

Now, however, you've outdone yourself in doing what you can to market a movie and insult the intelligence of the audiences.  For the upcoming Spanish movie Exorcismus (which is being released in other countries as The Possession of Emily Evans), you have some how thought it was wise and right to market this fictional movie as a REAL DOCUMENTED FOOTAGE of a possession.  Seriously?  How low are you really planning to go just to sell a movie?  Considering the IMDB listing clearly shows the cast to be playing the characters and not "themselves" should have been a clue that it wasn't a REAL possession.  Not to mention the ABSOLUTE lack of any real mention ANYWHERE ELSE that the movie is documentation of a real exorcism.  But no, you still push to insult the intelligence of the Filipino movie going public by claiming this movie is, as you put it:

Seriously?  SERIOUSLY?

And in other posters, you add some stupid internet resourced "actual Latin translation of an exorcism rite."

I am utterly disgusted and disappointed with your lack of values and character.  I am absolutely appalled at your ultimate desire to merely generate more sales.  And, let's say it WAS a real documentary, the way you are hyping things further are just as despicable as how the media covered the recent bus hostage situation, clearly heartless and greed-inspired.

Please do something about this clear case of false advertising.  Had I been more religious, I'd expect a formal apology as well to the Church for degenerating one of their sacred rituals in this manner.  But at its simplest, I expect you to pull out all these offending posters and standees, correct this obviously false claim of things being real, and be more responsible in the future in how you market movies.

Or the next thing you know, you'll have someone making a full documentary on how you are doing this kind of manipulative bullshit, and that documentary might gain more coverage than you would want your company to get.

The Possession of Emma Evans - International Trailer
Uploaded by dreadcentral. - Check out other Film & TV videos.

Sincerely,

A guy who still watches movies in theaters...

... for now, at least.

Earning a little Something on the Side

Been racking up on some rackets in hopes of boosting up my bank account for the eventual expenditure necessary when Rocky and I leave the Sietch to find ourselves a new home.  While we both have our own respective savings, one really finds himself opening his eyes to just how much money is needed to invest on getting an actual place to own.    I've done the math and so far, with one of the rackets I've snagged, if it works out as ideally as I hope, I can anticipate getting at least one-fifth of the usual down payment ready by the year's end.

"How will they even fit!"

Money makes the world go round, as that song from Cabaret goes.  While I do agree with the adage that it can't buy real happiness, I do admit it is necessary to get many of the other things in life that one would want to have or share with a loved one.  While I've long been a wiz in moving around my savings, I have to admit once we looked at the math necessary to own a house, I suddenly realized how much further I have to push myself to get what I want.  But that's fine.  It simply shows I've learned to face the world with reality in my mind.  No misconceptions of a white knight with a bag of gold coming to save me.

"Money money money money money money money money..."

No, I have to be responsible to get the things I want.

And that, in many ways, reflects why I have such a huge disdain for shows like Willing Willie and the like.    Rather than inspire others and teach people the value of money and the empowering truth of how one can hone and push oneself to earn a living to slowly reach one's dreams, such shows act like bubblegum on a hole of a sinking ship, granting false hopes of the "lucky" streak and making people focus on the chances of joining and winning a game show's huge prize rather than finding a better job.  It is sad how after all the opportunities and abuse our country has had, people in general have embraced the idea that we're hopeless victims who can never rise higher than we already are at unless someone throws us a financial bone.

"At least siya, magbibigay... ako ni-isang libo ma bigay ko sa charity."
"Baket, pera ba niya yung binibigay niya?  Ang ang isang libo from you, barya lang niya yon."

Then you have other people who embrace terms like socialite or eventologist, and live lives where money is thrown away on drugs, expensive yet practically useless things, and claim they exist to stand as inspirations for others to dream of becoming.    More frighteningly they have the power of money to generate the necessary hype that markets their side more, making the idea of living a drug-addled I-do-what-I-want-cause-I-can-buy-you-off lifestyle as one worth envying.  

Seriously.  And some claim their lifestyle is AN ART.
Ugh.

And finally, you have popular media creating show after show that always shows certain key cliche characters:  the poor-maltreated heroine who is either a house helper or someone from the province hoping to make an honest living, the rich abusive amo who eventually will lose her wealth and influence to the heroine by some convoluted story arc, and the unnecessarily loud effeminate cross-dressing gay comedy relief who exists to either be the target of verbal abuse or slap-stick humor.

In fairness, some shows break from the mold.
Kinda like how there are some sharks that are friendly.

No wonder people keep wanting to simply take the easy way out.
Why work for it when you might marry some rich guy, use his money as your own, and rise from your "inaapi" life?  Why learn to save money when you can throw away your money in a gamble for that one lucky moment?   Why be responsible with your life when you can always have someone else to blame:  your parents, your friends, society...

Some people think easy money is worth all the loss of self-respect.

Good vibes tends to be the clamor used to shut up any attempts I make to show the lack of reason in other's actions.  People would call me self-righteous, and accuse me of having a holier-than-thou attitude for believing  teaching a person to fish is far better than just throwing him a hand-out he'll quickly consume and beg for more of.    It saddens me to realize how many people out there have embraced the idea that "making others happy" is justification enough not to do the greater better thing.  Are we really becoming a nation that believes temporary happiness is enough?  Have we all become solvent sniffers who think handing out cash gifts once a year on camera is far better than helping a few more scholars go to school?

Why teach them to earn it themselves when you can always make them come back for more, diba?

We all need money.  That is a fact of the world.
But I still believe we all can strive to earn money with dignity.  And reach for our dreams with self-respect.
Each day is a day we can use to earn a little something on the side.  Maybe its a bit more cash from a racket. Maybe it is a bit more self-respect for choosing to do the right thing rather than the easy thing.

Buti pa ang robot, marunong mag fish.

But we have that choice.  We have every day to make it.
So please, stop wasting time waiting for that "lucky" moment.

Why see your life as something worth only the "generosity" of a richer man's handout, when all he's really doing is paying you to make him look great.

Keep your free money.  I'll never sell you my self-respect.

(And mind you, its not even with his own hard-earned money.  Its from the show.)

So Tired. But just about done. (For Yesterday)

Yep.  That work I was complaining about?
Just about finished it right now.  That's 2:03am of the next morning.

And yes, it MIGHT have to happen again later.

Hay.

Yay me.

I so wish I was home with my Rocky, to celebrate the Pride March instead.

But at the same time, I have to admit, it has also been fun exploring Singapore with my parents.

Just could be so much better if work can be somehow removed from the equation.

And if somehow roaming actually fraking worked.

Hay.

In other news, Rocky has just found me his Christmas gift!  This scares me.  In a good way.  But scares me nontheless!   Last year was a mixed bag.  This year, however, has been better and better each passing day.  And now knowing he's already found a gift for me, I'm gonna have to step up and find his!   Here at Singapore, I was tempted to get him this Unicron toy which was around S$180, but thankfully it wasn't the one he liked so good thing I didn't get it yet.  There are a few other options I saw which he might like, but oh, the challenge of trying to decide which one to get.

Ain't easy, I'll admit to you that.

There's always that innate fear of wanting one's chosen gift for the other to be just as cool as the one they found for you.  It is, of course, an almost unrealistic expectation.  But I guess in many ways it is a reminder I should focus on what makes gift giving special.  When looking for a gift is a search for something that would make the other happy, it is a real gift.    There is "nothing" you need to match or equal.  Just get the gift you really feel you want the other to have.

But no matter how popular the Florence and the Machine resurfacing song has gotten, no way are the dog days over it seems.

In fact, it keeps getting better.

Oh well, at least its a free trip

So after being told that I have to still work on my last day at Boracay, I was already feeling kind of pissed off to a large degree at the fact that my life seems to know revolve around work 99% of the time at any point in time when members of my family are involved.   Don't get me wrong, I love my family.  My parents are fantastic, kind, and supportive parents.  My brother and sister get along with me quite easily, and the three of us know we can rely on each other when push comes to shove.   But being part of the family business, I have started to notice how I barely receive calls from family now just to ask how I am.  Nor have any family events or outings been purely family events.  Work meetings, discussions on clients, problems with the performances of certain individuals in manpower and the like keep creeping in.   So with the dismal way my first actual vacation in years of working for the family business ended, I was feeling pretty shafted in regards to the idea of trusting any vacations to come from that day on.

My dad ended that day's text conversation with a:  "Don't worry.  Soon, you will have lots of vacations."

In some ways I took that message wrongly.  It felt more like a veiled threat.   Or a warning.  It was a digital horse on my bed-shaped inbox, so to speak.

Then came word a few days later of a grand plan they had:  A trip to Singapore.

My parents you see used to live in Singapore for a period of time.  I don't quite remember the specifics, but it is suffice to say, when we kids came into the picture, they decided to come back to Manila and raise us here.  But they do have fond memories of the place and when the idea of flying to Singapore came to their heads, they easily found a way to even add more meaning to it.  My sister just celebrated her birthday last December 1.  At the time of the discussions on having the trip, it was intended to also celebrate her birthday together as a family.

"But what about work?" I protested, already not too keen of the idea of flying out of the country only to still do work - the kind of work they feel I should go in to Paranaque thrice a week to accomplish even if I can dutifully handle it in Cubao.

"We can ask your Kuya and Ate to handle it," my Dad mused.

I was skeptical.  I asked that of them for my supposed four day Boracay trip.  I was barely gone for more than one working day when my dad texted me I "was expected to work" that Tueday.   Making it more frustrating was that the days the picked for the trip included the day of the Pride March, an event Rocky and I have been planning to attend since last year's march.  Having just come out to my parents last April, I was really looking forward to being part of the march as an out gay man.

But fine, it was a family vacation where I didn't have to worry over work.

Or at least that's what I thought.

Now it is 2:30a.m., and our flight to Singapore is at 6a.m.   I just finished loading my clothes to the suitcase my dad wants to bring and I thankfully am calmer now.  I was furious earlier though.  Why so angry so early in the morning?  Because when I arrived, my dad quickly asked, "So how are they going to do work assignments today?"  A question which basically declared, "Since you are working, how will they coordinate with you?"

I stared back, anger growing, but trying to stay calm.  I ask, "I thought Kuya and Ate Ives will-"

"Did you talk to them about it already?" came the reply and at that point I broke off eye-contact.  I was furious.  They didn't tell my brother and sister-in-law that they had to cover for me.  They expected me to tell them.  And mind you, it is not a if they haven't spoken with the two recently.  My sister-in-law knew of the trip.  I chatted with her one time and she persuaded me to join the trip.  Said it was something about our parents trying to reach out to us.  So I thought they were all planning this out.  Parents telling the two to hold the fort while me and my sister join them on a getaway to Singapore.

I guess that wasn't the plan after all.

So now, I'm leaving all these notes for the transcribers on how to assign work.  And I suspect later, once we arrive at the hotel, I will do what I can to connect online and check how work is going.  I know my brother and sister-in-law will be willing to lend a hand.  That's pretty much certain.  But I hate how my parents expected me to "tell them" rather than them informing the two of their plans.  I didn't want this trip after all.  I'm only going because I want to be there as a son.

But looks like I'm going to be there as both a son and a member of the transcription company.
So much for a vacation, eh?

Na Tim Yap ako.

But yeah, I'll do my best to enjoy the trip.  I'll even take pictures.
I just wish, sometimes, that they would just be more upfront about things with me.
And some day, allow me a REAL 100% vacation.

Or else, I might just one day give myself one without asking.

Disappointed with my Diliman Plan

Much to my frustration, my attempts to have Diliman as a free downloadable comic on Demonoid has not worked out.  What was supposed to be my surprise announcement for this Halloween as fallen in apart as both sites for some reason have "deleted" my torrent from their respective trackers.    I have no idea why.

Demonoid lists the following as their reasons for why a torrent may be deleted:

The rules as per their site.

I do not know which of them applied to my online comic.   Let's try tackling them one by one.

1) File inside the torrent
I had this file in my torrent, so it can't be this.
2) Adult material
Considering my comic is far tamer than comics such as The Authority, the Luna Brothers' Girls, or even Alan Moore's Lost Girls, I don't think this was the reason.
3) Spam scenes
Definitely not one of these.
4) Hate material
Unless the war between the Salamangkeros and the Aswangs are considered "hate inducing", I don't see how this would apply.
5) Passworded archives
My stuff has always been free.  And required no passwords.
6) Private Trackers
I have no idea what those even are!
7) Duplicate Material
Has someone else uploaded my comics?  If so, I can't find them.
8) Trojans or Infected archives
I have a paid version of Norton.  So no viruses for certain.
9) Hacking Tools
Nope.
10) Ensure Torrents Are Well Seeded
After uploading the comic and leaving my computer to seed, the deletion still happened.

I have tried to contact Demonoid to know why the deletion occurred but sadly, the forums does not work.  The chat did not load.  And attempts to email them have bounced.  I am starting to wonder if I should try a different torrent site instead.

Has anyone else out there had experience in uploading and seeding their own creations?  I would love to have Diliman reach an even bigger market if that were possible.   Sadly, for now though, all I can do is admit that my Halloween surprise for Diliman has faltered.  All I can do instead is leave you a nice shirtless picture of Chris Evans for the upcoming Captain America movie.

Happy Halloween you all.

Thank the gods his "no shirtless rule" has been broken.

Quick update and An Apology

Dealing with the aftermath of my partner being a victim of some pickpocket fiends on the MRT.   The need to cancel all credit cards, atm cards and the like is a much bigger hassle than most people realize until it happens to them.  Then there too is the loss of many membership and discount cards which we still have to have replaced (among which, the Shopwise Wise card being the most valuable since it pretty much has collected a lot of stuff on our over one year of grocery shopping.)   Deep down, there's a part of me that is really angry at the fact people out there can be desperate enough to steal from others.  I know, I know, it is a fact of life but it really reminds me why at times it can be difficult to keep a positive outlook towards people in general.  There will always be them rotten apples out there, and among them rotten apples are the kinds of bastards who feel they deserve to spend the hard earned money one makes from a proper job.

In a sense, this and my recent car accident have kind of sapped me of keeping this blog active for the 365 Days of Geeky Happiness updates - and that I promise to bring back up to speed soon enough.  That and the heavier workload the past three weeks have also kinda kept me from doing Diliman pages (I'm working on them but way behind my own schedule! My plans of having the last issue out this October might not make it.  But I am DEFINITELY still targetting this year as the year I finish it.)  Lastly, I've been behind in writing blog posts for TheBlog, the official blog for Fandom Live! which is published in the New Worlds website.

Thankfully, we have a few new Fandom Live! episodes online.  Two long delayed ones and one new one already available for your viewing pleasure.

But yeah, I will definitely do my best to move forward and accomplish what I need to accomplish.   And maybe if things work out, I'll be given a time machine, and I can leap back in time, find the bastards who took my partner's wallet, and leap further back and make sure their parents use protection on the night they conceived them.

Sighs.

God if I only had a time machine.
I already have a list.

ABA gets banged from behind

At least the plate is intact.

Yep.  Some guy botched on his driving roll and smashed his vehicle against mine.   ABA is painful to look at but thankfully was robust enough to keep me safe from bodily harm.  This is gonna be a bitch to have repaired though, not to mention puts a major damper on the convenience of travelling with a car.

In other news, the Church here in Manila threatens the Philippine President with excommunication for supporting the RH bill which is intended to promote smarter sex education and women's rights more than the misconceived legal murders the religious abusive authorities wish you to believe.  Whatever happened to the separation of Church and State?  How dare the Church literally threaten the President of a country!  Their actions would be considered an act of terrorism had they been Muslim!   Here's hoping the President sees this fact and acts accordingly on it.

I don't want bullies in the positions of power.

Already, one protester against the Church's ineptitude has been thrown in prison under grounds of, get this, civil disobedience, and if found guilty can he locked up for up to 5 years.  

Let me repeat that:  The Church had a guy who protested against their views locked up.

The Church embraces more and more the actions and mindset of the
very things it used to struggle against.   How sad.

What century are we living in?

And is the Church really that omnipotent now that they can act as if the President was someone they can bully?

I was born a Catholic.  I was raised a Catholic.  I still strongly hold fast to my faith.  I still pray.   I still keep certain Holy days sacred and holy.  But damn.. right now, I feel ashamed to be a Catholic.  I feel ashamed to be affiliated to a Church that has the attitudes of a school yard bully, that has the gall to self-righteously claim to be on a moral higher ground while acting in so many ways against the very teaching Jesus Christ himself has always taught us.

I am ashamed of how the Church is acting right now.
Very very deeply ashamed.

"For such men are false apostles, deceitful workmen, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ. And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. So it is not strange if his servants also disguise themselves as servants of righteousness." (2 Corinthians 11:13-15 RSV)

I so see this right now.

No one formed the Head in this one.

Firstshowing.net has released two images from JoBlo.com which are concept art for the supposed Voltron Live-Action movie that is coming up.  Already this early, as enthusiastic as I may be that another childhood favorite is coming to the big screen, I hate what I am seeing.

Lemme run down the reasons why:

This is cool.   That image much earlier... uh... what?

1) Not distinct enough colors.
This was a fatal flaw in the Michael Bay Transformers movies.  Color allows one to tell who is who among the  robots.  In Transformers, there was at least some semblance of difference in their looks to tell them apart (I guess.  I mean, there was in the original designs before they got Bay-efied up.) It can get worse here since the Lions, save for the Black Lion, are generally identical in look.   While the concept art does hint at the colors, it better show up more distinctly in the movie or this is gonna really fall apart.

If kids can get it right, geez....

2) Too Michael Bay
Clearly the people behind the project, Atlas Entertainment, wants to ride on the Michael Bay wave and personally I think this sucks big time.  The look of Voltron has always been distinct.  I haven't forgiven Michael Bay for what he's done to Transformers.  I'm still depressed over what happened to G.I. Joe.  Please please please, can the Voltron Live-Action movie look MORE LIKE THE DAMNED THING?  I mean, if this cute girl could actually pull it off, why can't you?

See.  Now THAT is an arsenal.  Why would they need to separate from the robot
I have no idea.  Please, don't mess this up!

3)  Don't detach while in Robot mode!!!
Seriously, what's up with that?  Why on earth are those arms not connected right?  And why are they being detached as if that's a key maneuver?  Why not have the sword instead?  In fact, where are the weapons I used to love?  Where's the star-like spiked shield?  Crap, the toy line showed they had a HUGE array of shiny weapons.  Why on earth are you choosing to ditch them?  I still remember how much excited I felt when the Lions would grab their edged weapons between their teeth to strike at their opponents.  Why can't you make that image cool and happen?  Why the need to pretend you can be better than the original vision?

The Lion is already on the verge of crying.

4) This will be by Thomas Donnelly and Joshua Oppenheimer.
Their credits are Sahara, Conan and Doctor Strange.
Nuff said.

5) Since they seem to be setting it on Earth
That already throws away 90% of the original storyline.
So yes, this is starting to feel less movie adaptation of a source and more... Halle Berry's Catwoman.
And we know how that turned out to be.

Ugh.

Okay, I admit. I so wanted this to be about them making THAT cartoon into a live action movie.

The talk was entitled Visionaries.
No they aren't making Visionaries into a live action movie.

Damn it.
That would have so ROCKED.
:-(

Oh well, for those who like Visionaries, get your fill of the details of the show here I guess.

Facebook Eff Ups

Looks like my Facebook account is down.
Either they're really running maintenance (to my account alone) or someone out there has successfully fucked up my account.  While the shortlist of possible suspects is tremendously short, I don't think I'll bother attempting any  acts of reprisal.  Frankly, the fact my life with Rocky is the best time of our life in our entire lives will be revenge enough.   After all, the best way to beat a bitter person is to show how unlike that person, you're actually really happy.

This isn't the first time something unexpected and unwanted has happened to me lately.
Other than the rumor that reached my ears, there was also the fact Facebook itself has been wonky and very frustrating to use.  Porn star profile pages and adult production studios have been flooding my "recommended pages" options.  And the most anger-inducing facebook thing was this recent notification:

Yep.  I checked with Rocky and he never used that app.
Talk about virtual peer pressure being used to trick you to using an app.
And Facebook is earning from this trickery since that's a sponsored ad.

Once again, I feel the great urge to just quit Facebook altogether.  While many friends do keep in touch with me through it, the options to just text or call do exist and should soften the blow.  The biggest blow really is being able to share stuff with my contacts easily, an act I can accomplish via plurk although not all my contacts use that.

I guess time will tell.  Here's hoping the account becomes accessible soon.
If not, well whoever you are, guess what:  all you've done is help me do what I wanted to do.
And yes, we are still happier than you will ever be.

Perturbed... Sige na nga.

Having some unexpected issues crop up at work.  Unsure about certain unsigned checks.  Overall, I know these will untangle themselves smoothly once I get to contact the people I should.

On the homefront, however, things are fantastic!  Rocky loves the new couch and we're already tossing ideas back and forth for the coming Gay Pride White Party.  Shirt designs are the focus of the discussion and we've already narrowed things down to two key geekdoms to play with.

In many ways, the last few months have been the best ever for the two of us.  After a bumpy ride through the last year, this year brought with it realizations of how well we really work together and how healthy we are for each other.   It becomes hard, at times, to share this happiness with others without sounding like bragging (or for some reason be misunderstood as being afraid by other specters) but I am not unaccustomed to others giving ridiculous meanings to what I say (or not say).    All I will say for this post however is this:  Actions have spoken louder than words, and while words can easily manipulate things around, integrity shows when the actions do match the words.

I love you, Rocky.
We deserve this happiness.

p.s.
More interestingly, Rocky has just informed me that the "kids" are up to something.
The kids refers to our collection of stuffed toys, mostly little critters that we liked keeping and have started naming.  There were some times when I'd have the "kids" arranged in a nice tableau of sorts to surprise and amuse Rocky once he got home.  Today, it seems, Rocky decided to do the same.  While getting dressed for work, I had this feeling the toys were.. different, but thinking it was just me and my paranoid doggy moments, I shrugged it off, got quickly dressed, and stepped out for work.  I was on my way to work when Rocky informs me the kids are up to something.  I knew it!  I should have studied what they were up to.  I guess that's another simple yet fun thing to look forward to later.

That's the kind of life we have now.  Every day has its little fun surprises.  Every day has its honest joys and hearty laughs.    Every day we find ourselves thankful for making the choice to give this love a chance.