#MakeUpTransformation Post

I didn't even have to make my own.
Prince and Joy already made one for me.

BWAHAHHAHAHHA!  Crazy crazy fun.
So here, posting them so they never get lost.
:-)

Updates so far for May and June

Life truly has its ups and downs.

Just wanted to post a brief summary of things that I've been dealing with, or celebrating so far.

Still loving my job as a Game Designer for Indigo Entertainment.  The work can be tremendously stressful and at times, feel like I'm juggling way too many projects with one hand, but man the idea that I am creating GAMES as a living is truly a dream come true.  The idea that I have started games that have entertained, challenged and been enjoyed by kids all over out there in the world is amazing.  I have James and Dokes to always thank for that.

My dad was recently confined at the hospital and I had to stay with him for a week to make sure he was doing well.  I was happy to be able to be there for him, given all the years that he and mom spent making sure that their second son was happy, healthy and given access to education and safety.  It was a scary time for us, admittedly, but thankfully we were able to get through it and found our bonds as family members even getting stronger in the process.  Dad's home now and on the road to recovery.  Life get's better.

I started cooking and baking again.  And each time I do, I find myself dedicating it to PJ.  I still miss PJ a lot.  I still find myself sometimes wishing he'd suddenly text or call me and ask me to head out with him to Ortigas and enjoy the music, the dancing and the laughs.  I still find myself replaying the scenes in the hospital.  Still find myself at times wishing I could have done more.  But I do push myself to focus on the positive side of things.  To remember the lessons he taught me.  To think of the tips he shared with me.    I tried using a bigger knife when I prepped dinner the other night.  I recall PJ used to always tell me that I should stop using a Pearing knife for everything.  I don't think I'll ever stop missing him.

Yoshi is also doing better.  After a bout of fungal infection, he's feeling much better now and is starting to grow back his wonderful hair.  We are considering trimming him this much once a year to help him deal with the summer heat better.  He kinda looks more like Doby the House Elf right now, which is quite endearing.

Rocky and I have also been spending lots of time celebrating our geeky life together.  He got us a pair of Star Trek communicator/badges which have powerful magnets so we don't ruin the shirts we wear.  We also invested in getting a few more board games including Risk: The Dalek Invasion of Earth, The Lords of Waterdeep, Pret-A-Porter and Merlin's Company, the expansion to Shadows Over Camelot.  Gaming kinda slowed down given the recent events and summer trips, but now we are working on getting thinks back to stride.  Rocky is also now the proud owner of the Dr. Who novels, both the individual novels for each doctor and the novels dedicated to the different monsters.  It looks tremendously beautiful on our selves and I'm happy to have helped him make up his mind to get them.

Then there's Ben Woerner's A World of Dew which is a spin-off of John Wick's Blood and Honor game.  I was very excited about the book that I messaged Ben ideas on how I'd love to expand the game.  Thankfully he took my pitches seriously and has made my contribution one of the stretch goals for the release of the book! The Kickstarter was incredibly successful, netting over $16,000 even with an initial goal of only $2,000.  This will be another chance for me to contribute to the rpg community and I'm pretty psyched about it.  You can still check out the Kickstarter here:  https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/381911690/a-world-of-dew-a-samurai-noir-role-playing-game

Finally, we're watching over Misty, Prince's dog, for the meantime while he has his trip to Cebu.  The dog has been a bit demanding for attention but I've been training him to be more calm and orderly.  He still whines every now and then, but I am hoping to teach him to be more patient and calm like how Yoshi is.  Given she's a girl and Yoshi is a boy, I've resorted to keeping them separated with a pen for now, just because I'm worried they might.. you know.. when I'm not looking.

But yeah, overall, life is good.
And tomorrow is going to be better!

A song for PJ

It has been a long time since I last blogged.  Admittedly, I've been busy and in some ways, this blog was the one of the things that suffered for it.  (This is even the first post I have for the year 2014.) But today I post again because I realize I need to mark this moment down so I never forget it happened.

We lost dear sweet PJ earlier this week.    He is a friend and an inspiration and he burned so brightly, cast loving light so widely and sadly was taken so soon.  I'm not quite ready yet to talk about the circumstances that lead to his passing.   And I'm still being selfish about certain other stories.  I still feel the need to keep them inside.  To hold them close to my heart, as I did many other things since Rocky and I got back together.

But Rocky suggested I share this little... oddity.
And I guess in some ways its a tribute to PJ that I can share.

PJ and I met at O bar many years back.  I met him through another good friend of mine, and upon learning he was so far from home, I decided I wanted to make sure he had a great time each time he was at O.  So I sort of "adopted" him and made sure to reach out to him to feel free to have me as company in any time he needed it.  Given the passing, Rocky and I have been talking about PJ a lot.  And among the many topics we find ourselves remembering about him, we realize we never really had a "song" for him.  You know how sometimes, you have this song that just expresses or captures someone you know.

Prior to his death, I rediscovered David Bowie's Space Oddity when it was partly covered in the movie The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.  I found I liked the song and its narrative lyrics.  I added it to the list of songs I'd play at work.  Or while driving.   But since the passing, I've found myself more and more latching to the song without knowing why.  I'd be humming it out of the blue.  I'd be playing it in the car.  I'd be listening to it at work, or while at home, and I'd find myself tearing up.  I asked Rocky about this and he felt it was a haunting song that I probably just connected with.

Today, on the drive home, things snapped into place.  The images slid into place and suddenly it made sense why the song has been running in my head.  It seems my brain had, to cope with the loss of PJ, already formed a montage.. a soundtrack of sorts.. of the events to help me try to accept PJ's death.  This probably sounds stupid and foolish, but for me it made sense.

PJ is Major Tom.  He's off on a new mission in a place none of us have dared to go.  We've always been proud of him and his achievements (down to us knowing the shirts he wears has been Mossimo).  Major Tom's experience matches what PJ is probably experiencing as he "leaves," floating in a peculiar way.  How the stars don't look familiar anymore.  He feels very still, and yet he senses his "vessel" knows where to go.  He knows he's far from everyone.  Yet he can see that we, those he left behind, are sad.

We, Ground Control, lose his signal.  We lose contact.   We cannot reach him, or think he cannot hear us.

And the song, just like it did in life, ends abruptly.. fading away... leaving us to make sense of things.  To deal with things.

PJ, this is Ground Control.

Know we already believe even in this journey, you will excel.  You will accomplish things others do not expect.  Someday, we will be on our way to join you there.  And when we meet again, we will praise you like we always have for your courage, your skill, your generosity, your love.

Planet Earth is blue, but only because we're still missing you so much and believing you're gone for good.  But we will soon embrace the fact we will have a chance to meet again.  And that you will always be watching over us, seeing us from past 100,000 miles.

We love you, PJ.

I'd like to end this blogpost for now with the music video of the song from The Secret Life of Walter Mitty.

Ground Control to Major Tom
Ground Control to Major Tom
Take your protein pills
And put your helmet on

Ground Control to Major Tom (Ten, Nine, Eight...)
Commencing countdown
Engines on (Seven, Six, Five...)
Check ignition
And may God's love be with you (Four, Three, Two, One, Liftoff...)


This is Ground Control
To Major Tom
You've really made the grade
And the papers want to know whose shirts you wear
Now it's time to leave the capsule
If you dare

This is Major Tom to Ground Control
I'm stepping through the door
And I'm floating
In a most peculiar way
And the stars look very different today

For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do

Though I'm past
One hundred thousand miles
I'm feeling very still
And I think my spaceship knows which way to go
Tell my wife I love her very much
She knows

Ground Control to Major Tom
Your circuit's dead,
There's something wrong
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
Can you....

Here am I floating
Round my tin can
Far above the Moon
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do

You are a friend.  A brother.
You are someone I will dearly miss.
Soar high, PJ.  Don't look back.
We will be right behind you.