Eye-opening and thought-provoking...

I realize that in the jobs where I have excelled, they were because I didn't care about the money.
It was because I really LOVED what I was doing.  And was given the space to be creative the way I wanted to.

That was tempered with my hitting my deadlines and being responsible.
And that's what I realize I wished some of my co-workers could learn to do.

July Update

So, I've been quite quiet on this blog for some time.   I will admit now that the silence was to a great part a reflection of how some parts of the year affected me.  There were some events in the first quarter and more so on the second quarter which kinda hit me hard.  But thankfully, this third quarter has been generally getting better with every passing week.

But enough.  Time to remind myself of what I have accomplished and celebrated in the last few months.

I now proudly can say I have some stuff in the table top gaming industry.

First, I helped translate/proof read the English release of the Italian Story Game Cartooner, which can be purchased on Drivethrurpg.   Originally I was being asked to review the game for my gaming blog, Tagsessions, but when I got the drafts I realized I wanted to help tighten the text and make the English easier and clearer to grasp.   To my surprise, Giovanni Micolucci - the game's creator - not only agreed to let me help with the English, but even added me to the book's credits!

So this marks my first official participation beyond merely just being a playtester (as I have been for other games such as Eloy Lasanta's Part-Time Gods or the 5th incarnation of Hero, I think it was).

Then, there was the Kickstarter for the game Heroine, which I backed.  The game allows a group to play a session where a Heroine goes through an adventure following staples such as Through the Looking Glass, Wizard of Oz and the like.   Josh Jordan, the creator of the game, messaged me to ask if I wanted to try writing a version of Heroine set in the Philippines and I jumped at the opportunity.

And so, Girls Elsewhere is now available on Drivethrurpg as well.  And I do hope that more and more of you guys check it out and support it.   I know it isn't anything that fancy, me being a contributor now to a book, but for me it is a HUGE step forward in realizing my dreams.

And then there's my job at Indigo Entertainment as a Game Designer.  I tell you, it still boggles the mind how fortunate and fulfilling it is to be in my position.  I design games for a living.  I come up with ideas and work out mechanics, systems, stories and experiences for others to enjoy and get paid to do it.  And I've even worked with greats such as Cartoon Network and the like.  Oh my god.  I tell you, I still am overwhelmed by the fact I have this job.    Even more awesome?  Part of my job is helping the gang experience and get exposed to even more games, so yeah I've been running various table-top games and story games for the last few months to help broaden the horizons of those who are willing to try it at work.    So in a way, you can say I am paid to run games too.  And now, I just might be doing this as a full-time job.

Maybe those are the signs I have to finally see.

I had dreams for film.  For comics.  For television.
Film and television kept getting side-tracked by relationships, by wars on terror, and by financial problems.  The dreams of bringing my parents home an Oscar someday were I guess dreams that were meant to be forgotten.  Wrote a bunch of scripts.  Some even got produced as plays in Los Banos, or were considered for short film treatment.  But naw, I doubt anyone even noticed or heard of them.  

Comics kept getting overwhelmed by cliques.  By lack of support.  I'd come up with cool, or original things to do, and others would barely notice.  Tenth year anniversary plans for my comic, Diliman, fell so flat I really felt crushed.  And mind you, I really had thought my friends would be there to celebrate with me.  And now, I can see so many of my friends moving forwards with their creations.  Touching people's lives.  Inspiring fans.

For some reason, there just wasn't the support or attention that I expected from them.   And to think I'd gone as far as directly asking for some friends before to support it.    I even got featured in a documentary, but surprisingly not a blimp on the social media side.  Not even after I shared the news with friends whom I had hoped would at least spread the word too. Yeah.  I guess its a sign for me to realize that those areas are just not meant for me.   And maybe if I ever try to dip my toes into those waters again, they'll be just for me to go for it and not for me to want to find an audience for it anymore.  

Maybe it was about time that I've seen what has been in front of me all this time.

Gaming is my niche.

And maybe it is about time I've focused my time instead on just making more and more gaming experiences for more to enjoy and celebrate.

So I promise myself to his these goals.  And here's a peek of what I have in the pipeline.
I have to finally finish and release the following:

Muses
A meta-game role-playing game where even the players themselves are characters in the game.  Play Immortals that wear Masks to enjoy the limitations of a mortal life.  In this game, using meta-game knowledge is part of the fun!  But beware, the Enemy lurks and worst of all, is the only person you really trust.

MEM:RE
In a world where you can remix your brain to tap into memories you need, where does identity and loyalty lie?  The Mission must be accomplished before time runs out.  And unlike most role-playing games, in Mem:RE games do unfold in real-time.

And maybe find a way to compile and release my other creations that are currently on Tagsessions.

Kumiho of the Nine: A KoreanDrama RPG
Cat Dreams/Neko Yume : A Ghibli Inspired RPG
Survivor the RPG
Black/White
Adventure Time Advanced
Adventure Time: Simplified RPG

Thankfully, my partner Rocky, has been tremendously supportive through all these moments in my life.  And so many other friends out there have been very encouraging and uplifting in their faith in my talents and abilities.  And even more, gaming idols such as Eloy Lasanta and John Wick have been willing to throw me an encouraging message or two when the going gets tough.

Life has been geekily amazing.
And it can only get better!

HAPPY PRIDE you all!

Rocky and I are celebrating Pride at O Bar Ortigas this weekend!

See you guys there!

Signs Point to Yes

Can I handle it?

I guess we will find out this week.

If I can't, any friends out there in Singapore who might be okay with me crashing over for a few days this week?

Gun Ban Over!

Bang bang bang!
That's all.

Six months in our Journey

Life is geekily good.
Happy Sixth Monthsarey, Rocky!

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

To my Mom, who has always been supportive and loving.  Whom has taught me to trust in my talents, to hone my instincts, and to embrace my interests, I love you Mom and I hope that I always make you proud.

 

To Yaya Bebie, who is in many ways my second mom.  She has helped take care of me ever since I was one year old.  And even until now, she is with us and watching over our family.  We love you and know you are part of our family.

Happy Mother's Day!

Your Blog Does Not Exist

Woke up today and tried to log in to discover my blog was not existing.
Tried to log into Gmail and was told the same thing!

Freak out moment, eh?

After attempting to contact Google, the password started working again, so I logged in quickly and changed all my present passwords.  Gah, it was definitely a scare.  I cannot imagine how I'd function if someone had successfully hacked and deleted all my emails and blogs.

Thankfully, whatever that glitch was is over.

Right?

Even Google Just Greeted Me!

Thank you so much, Google!  This means a lot to me.
Woot!

I am now Thirty Six.

Thank you everyone for your greetings.  Thank you Rocky Sunico for reminding me to look past the stress of the day and celebrate the night as my birthday comes along.  Thank you Prince Poi Heinz Angeles for making me feel even more special today, with all the fan signs, and the beautiful wonderful flowers.  Sad you couldn't join us, but I guess life has such moments.  Here's hoping you'll be able to next time we go to O bar, or next time you have free time.   Thank you to Kyle Sy for bringing his friends to O bar and baking me such a delicious chocolate cake! YUM!  Thank you to MicioNero HijoLuna for surprising me and joining us! Thank you to Ramon Papa and Rupert Acuna for letting me have such a wonderful night at O bar.    Thank you to the O Divas for such a wonderful show and making me smile.  To Zymon de Guzman for the awesome Kylie mixes and lots of my favorite songs.  And to the staff for making sure I felt comfortable and got the stuff I needed with ease.

Thank you also to all the friends and family who sent in their greetings.  It feels very good to be remembered and to be appreciated.  Thank you and my apologies to the Geeks (especially Niki Yarte) who showed up at Home Depot, hoping to greet me but I arrived too late to see them.

Thank you to my parents and family for being part of my life.
I am now thirty six years old.

God.  I'm four years away from forty.

(photos to follow)

Just Another Week.

Birthday coming up.
Mixed emotions.

Remembering Poy-poy.
Remembering last year, spending it begging and pleading on the cellphone.
Remembering feeling tired.  Sad.  Angry.  Frustrated.   Confused.  Afraid.  Weak.

Lots of memories surging through right now.
Some clear.  Some vague.
Some, an absolute riot.

Each year had its themes.  Each year had its moments.
Shattering glass.  Spilling fluids.
Smiles.  Cheers.  Fires burning.

Living life proud.  Shameless.
Crazy.  Geekily.  Free.
Sharing the joy with the ones I loved.
Celebrating them with friends I no longer see.

But life goes on.
Life that challenges you. That provokes you.
That welcomes you.

You can embrace it in many ways:
By living it as one where others judge you and state how right or wrong you are.
Or by living it knowing only certain opinions matter, as others will always have something bad to say about you - out of jealousy, out of misguided religious feelings, out of political views, out of spite.
Definitions are important.
That is true.  Sometimes we embrace them to help center ourselves.
But you can define yourself.  Or be mastered by one.

And my words will always be used against me.

But life goes on.
Life endures.

As does love.
Pure, true love.
Love born from am honest urge to take care of and bring happiness to another.

So yes, life goes on.
And I am happy to have Rocky in my life, who always reminds me to embrace my geeky gay side.  He's at work right now, but I can always feel him in my heart.

And Yoshi who is related to Poy-poy and now carries Prince and Poy-poy's legacy of having broken my fear of dogs.

Wait...

What are these marks on my skin?

Did I do these to myself?

Is there someone else in the house?

April 23, 2013.

A Pleasant Snail Mail Surprise

Woke up today to a letter in the mail

The last time we got a snail mail message was a post card from our good friend Dekya who is now based in San Franscisco.  This was a beautiful envelope with a wax seal on the back.  A real literal wax seal!

Opening it, there was an elegant letter M on the front, which for a moment made me wonder.
Having just woken up, I must confess to thinking it was a message from either Madonna or Magneto.
Yeah, gay geeks.  Hahhaha!

 

Finally opened the letter to find...

Thank you so much Monica Valentinelli!
And yes, more writing and reading for all of us!

Thank you Mayfair Games

Finally got the missing White Road piece for my Settlers of Catan game.  Thank you so much Mayfair Games for being very awesome and cool.  Most companies I know of would merely apologize and leave it at that.

And because of that, I promise to expand on my Catan collection in support of your coolness.

Making Another Run for your Heart.

Yes, I remember that night.

  

Netrunner.

:-)  

Mayfair Games, you are AWESOME

So Rocky and I, on our last trip to Singapore, got our very own copy of Settlers of Catan.

It took a few days before we actually opened it, and it was then my friend Jovan discovered there were only fourteen white wooden road pieces in the set, while the rest were fifteen.

At first, I resigned myself to just accepting the fact it was missing a piece.  But Jovan and Neek insisted I try writing in to at least check if there's a place to find replacements or anything.

I wrote my email to them a few days back.
This is their reply.

I love companies that try to make their customers happy.
Thank you so much Mayfair Games!

And yes, I've just purchased the 5-6 Player Expansion for the game.
Up next, hunting down Seafarers of Catan, Cities and Knights, and finding that Frenemies rules thing.
And to look for Catan: Oil Springs.