Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Just Another Week.

Birthday coming up.
Mixed emotions.

Remembering Poy-poy.
Remembering last year, spending it begging and pleading on the cellphone.
Remembering feeling tired.  Sad.  Angry.  Frustrated.   Confused.  Afraid.  Weak.

Lots of memories surging through right now.
Some clear.  Some vague.
Some, an absolute riot.

Each year had its themes.  Each year had its moments.
Shattering glass.  Spilling fluids.
Smiles.  Cheers.  Fires burning.

Living life proud.  Shameless.
Crazy.  Geekily.  Free.
Sharing the joy with the ones I loved.
Celebrating them with friends I no longer see.

But life goes on.
Life that challenges you. That provokes you.
That welcomes you.

You can embrace it in many ways:
By living it as one where others judge you and state how right or wrong you are.
Or by living it knowing only certain opinions matter, as others will always have something bad to say about you - out of jealousy, out of misguided religious feelings, out of political views, out of spite.
Definitions are important.
That is true.  Sometimes we embrace them to help center ourselves.
But you can define yourself.  Or be mastered by one.

And my words will always be used against me.

But life goes on.
Life endures.

As does love.
Pure, true love.
Love born from am honest urge to take care of and bring happiness to another.

So yes, life goes on.
And I am happy to have Rocky in my life, who always reminds me to embrace my geeky gay side.  He's at work right now, but I can always feel him in my heart.

And Yoshi who is related to Poy-poy and now carries Prince and Poy-poy's legacy of having broken my fear of dogs.


What are these marks on my skin?

Did I do these to myself?

Is there someone else in the house?

April 23, 2013.



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