Friday, August 03, 2012

800ml Ice Cream All Alone...

I still feel a tad sad with what has transpired.
But yes, finally, conclusively it can be said.  The ASA family is now over.

What will happen to Baduy Pride, and to ASA Travel and Tours remains to be seen.  In many ways, both will live on, but perhaps slightly different if not very changed from when they were first conceived.

Yes I do still feel sad.
Because I really did pour my heart out into trying to help it work.  I tried to do what I could to reach out to both ends.  I tried to be sensitive.  I tried to make all my choices based on what I thought the over-all scenario needed.

And in the end, I wasn't always right.  I wasn't always sensitive.  And I was definitely not always happy.

There are many scars left in the wake of things.
Physical.  Emotional.  And in some ways, even mental.
There were wonderful moments.  Loving special times.  But when it went bad, things went very bad.  Physically painful.  Emotional wrenching.  And deep down, I knew it was a question of patience.  Or time.
Or trust.

Too much, too soon.
Too little, too late.
And now, things are as they are.

I do believe everything has a reason.  I do believe everything is meant to lead to better things in the end.
I do believe that things will work out.

No, that doesn't mean I believe the ASA family will reunite.
I don't think that means either that Rocky and I are back together.
I do believe it means, we will find what we want, what we deserve, and what we need...
and we will soon see how these three things will interconnect, or turn out to be totally different things.

Am I tempted to visit Prince and check on him?  Absolutely.
Am I tempted to visit Rocky, wake him for work, cook him breakfast, and make sure he gets to work safely?  Without a doubt.

But I can't.
I shouldn't.
I won't.

For now, I have to just let things be.  Stay in touch, perhaps.  But let things be.
And know, everything happens for a reason.

Especially this.

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