Saturday, September 03, 2005


An eyeblinks
A thought shifts
A second passes
A camera clicks
Fingers snap
Computers boot
A phone rings
A car engine roars
A modem squeals
Stars twinkle
Water drips
A candle dies
A man lies
A woman sighs
And I

Counting the days that pass
in every second.

So this is how it happens.
You cancel your weekend plans to accomodate others. You barely attend a birthday party which you promised to be at. You cancel a gimmick with some friends in greenhills. You throw away the option to go all the way to Las Pinas to do your responsibilities and you don't get a single proper note of thanks. No message saying they appreciate the fact you didn't get any sleep or cancelled your plans, or stayed pretty hospitable despite beingemotionally a wreck and physically expended.

None. Except perhaps a thank you verbally sent while you were half-asleep.

But do you hate them for it?
No. You just realise that's how real life is. People have priorities. And there's far too many people for those you concern yourself with to realise you'd appreciate they'd be concerned back. People have lives. They have their own happiness. They have their own worlds to shape, share and do with as they please. And you're just having a fucking emotional episode again. So you lock yourself in your room, hide in a corner and listen to music to block out the sounds of a world that's happy and living and breathing on without you. You tell yourself it will pass and you're just having another one of them stupid depressive swings since you're an artist and its part of the price of being in touch with a creative soul. And you be thankful you're no longer the self-destructive twat you used to be in college.

Although, in your little corner, you're stuck in a second that passes like a week and your feeling worse than you've ever been without any choice but to carry on as if nothing happened. And yes, you're desperately hoping to hear an apology but you really shouldn't. For it would have been given if it they felt they should have.

Grabe.. thank God this isn't what I'm going through right now.
Yes, Tobie, it could be worse.


  1. that's one point for your emotional quotient. :)

  2. See yourself in the scope of things not in the center of things. :)
    Grab a beer and talk to a friend....relax because IT COULD BE WORSE!

  3. MAMA i'm on my way naaa



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