Thursday, August 05, 2004

Had an argument with a friend today
Well, more of a discussion that transformed into a sort-of argument when we hit a snag on something we had different views on. Though the specifics are no longer important, the following things were stuff I believed in which I chose to stand by.

"Love isn't something magical that lasts forever.
a large part of it is a choice.
a choice to make it work out in the end.
then, it becomes magical.
because then, you and your partner are making it work, without even thinking it.
Love is a constant sharing, understanding and compromising.
Its not a perfect state that you have to hit or miss.
That "perfect state" is the idealized love
unconditional - within the bounds of realism.
if it weren't, you'd then imply that a woman bashed by her husband nightly should never try to change him.
there are a limits to everything.
but if you work on making love work, then those limits disappear.
like if that abusive husband really wanted to change and the wife really wanted to make it work out, then the unconditionalness of love begins to appear.
and if you both constantly try to make it work out, meaning find time to spend for each other, be honest about times you might not be able to.. then you are building an unconditional love that will be the ideal love spoken in poetry and written in songs.
working it out doesn't mean there are problems. it simply means you are finding ways to make one life work for two people who have separate lives. its sad how some people have turned compromise into an ugly word."

I don't think I lost any friends by believing in this. And I have no reason to stop seeing him as a friend. But I do hope he realises that everything I said was meant to help him see that his choices make a difference and do affect other people. His life is his own, after all.

Someday, I wonder if I'll be standing at that very same spot he was at. I wonder if I'll find myself struggling to find clarity in my own heart. For now, though, I am happy to be able to admit that though my own life may be fraught with troubles and insecurities of my own, I am at least clear as to where I stand when it comes to love. And I am willing to live this life I live.

Except on those times I feel horny as hell, damn it.
(thank God for perseverance. And very very COLD showers.)

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