Tuesday, May 18, 2004

Its only the 18th
And I'm already down to 1500 for the next two weeks. Damn it, lending money out really fucked me up. I'm too generous. I'm too nice. I'm too fucking helpful to everyone else that I fail to keep in mind I should take care of myself too. Same old problems. Same old me.

I guess there are some things that I never really learn.

I want love. I want acceptance. I want respect.
I want apologies from those bastards who have the gall to blame me for their insecurities.
I want forgiveness from those whom I have hurt and yet still hold on to grudges.
I want happiness. I want contentment. I want world peace. I want some people in pieces.
I want joy. I want excitement. I want sex. I want passion. I want chance and opportunity rolled into one ball of possibilities.

I want.

Why doesn't anyone get that?
Why does everyone else seem to think all I do is give?

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