Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Losing my edge

I am definitely losing my edge.

There was once a time when I had a huge list of mini-projects that I was indulging myself in.  I had my online comics, my theater work, my short films, my gaming, my travel plans, my schooling plans, my workouts at the gym and my commercials.

Now, I have my work.
And my occasional nights out with friends to destress.

Komikon is coming up again this year and I have yet to finish the final issue of Diliman.  Buti pa ang Planetary, ang delays niya understandable.  Kasi the team is busy with all these other projects.  Eh ako?  I'm surrounded with all these incompleted works which I should have accomplished so long ago.

Diliman?  Unfinished.
Sandman tribute?  Unfinished.
The last two Nanowrimos?  Unfinished.
This year's Nanowrimo?  I didn't even join.
Horror anthology with some friends?  On hold.
Alamat contribution?  On hold.

Ultimately, its been work.
And escape.


The answer is there, clearly before my eyes.
After reading some of the posts of my friend Carl, who recently made some nice articles on comic book creation and the dedication one needs to have in accomplishing them, I began to realize how much I've failed in giving my works the end they deserve.

But then again, one can almost look at my life as a whole and read it to be in the same boat.
Film school?  Indefinitely cancelled.
Winning an Oscar?  Shelved for the time being.
Actually making another short film?  Uh. Yeah.
Fullybooked Gaiman contest?  Didn't even bother to try.
Palanca?  See above.
FGS?   See above.
Open Gaming Meets?  Missed the last two.

I'm on hold.
My life is on hold.
I've lost my edge and become a faded muted shade of color in the background.

Why can't I move?


  1. *hugs*
    I may not have the answer to your question...
    but you still have my awe and respect...
    all the best!

  2. you'll snap out of it. para maiba lang, "ang buhay patang radyo. it megahertz"

  3. ika nga ni mare'ng Shirley (Manson)

    "This is the noise that keeps me awake
    My head explodes and my body aches
    Push it, make the beats go harder
    Push it, make the beats go harder"

    pwede na ako mag OWA(?) Bar ... but then, I still plan on producing your horror digital short movie. let's dance beybeh! <(~_____~<(

  4. It's O Bar.

    And yes, produce natin.
    :-D Pero now we need a new monster. Nasa India na si India.

  5. so i've heard ... but i was dead to the world ... sige ... hahanap ako ...

  6. You're not alone, Tobs. My own projects are in the can for now. I get by by piggy-backing on other people's projects, just to keep my hand in the work.

    Praying for us all, dude.

  7. To likewise quote GARBAGE as well:

    "The trick is to keep breathing."

  8. Well, to quote someone else.
    "Man with hand in pocket feels cocky all day."

    No idea how that fits into things but uh yeah...
    *mumbles something unintelligible after dumb comment*

  9. Or to quote Ally McBeal, "I have my health..."

  10. Hhahahhahaha!

    It made me laugh.
    Thanks boyo.

  11. UP JOKE! FTW

    Hang in there, tob. It'll happen. You will make it happen.

  12. i don't get it.

  13. I forgot to click "Quote original message" kasi i was commenting on Ang buhay ay parang radyo. Lol.

    Hugs, tob. It could be worse. You could be neck deep in puppies.

  14. Baka "Mid-life Crisis" na yan. Hahahaha!!!



Related Posts with Thumbnails