Sunday, July 31, 2005

The act of breaking up has never been a popular one. The need to suck up your pride, embrace your fears and take that initial step into trying to put to words why a relationship won't survive can be difficult. If not downright stressfully frightening to do. For some, it leaves a sour taste in the mouth. For others, it simply reminds them of how cruel they can be. For others even, it reminds them how much they're being too idealistic or too realistic about love.

But many of the problems associated with breaking up is the fact few actually continue to be honest when they explain their reasons for breaking up with someone, be it with someone whom you've been with for a few days, months, weeks or years. For some reason, the urge to cover it up with the most cliche of excuses ("It's not you, its me..." "I think its time we should try seeing other people...") too easily comes to the fore and replaces the urge to honestly explain one's own side.

And in many cases, the ever eternal "I don't want to hurt you..." excuse comes up as a reason to why such honesty isn't permitted or embraced.

Well, guess what friends. The inevitable event of someone getting hurt happens independently on whether or not you actually honestly admit your reasons for breaking up with someone. Because getting hurt is part of the process of any ending that occurs, be it in a relationship, or an event. And by getting hurt, it could range from everything be it a small tinge of regret to a tsunami of guilt-ridden feelings, painful memories, crying periods and a quiet moment of tearing apart every picture or old letter you used to keep of the said person.

Getting hurt sucks. But it happens. And no break-up ever completely dissolves its presence.

Being honest and communicating what you really feel is never easy. But in many ways, it would be what the relationship, had it had any degree of emotional honesty to begin with, deserves. Don't waste what could have been many special moments and touching memories with a sucky false reason that was spoken in hopes of causing less pain. If the relationship, or at least the attempt to have one was worth the effort before, it should be worth the tears shed in its failure.

So be honest.
Say what you feel.
And give a break-up the respectability you would have given the relationship when it was just starting.



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