Sunday, September 30, 2012

Bad Wolf

Is it just me or me updating, "Plans cancelled" seems to be my norm as of the late?

While things are still far from the ideal, and still better than yesterday, admittedly I find myself currently in a low swing on the state of affairs.  Grindr, Growlr, and all those other networks have started to bore me.  I admit there was some fun to receiving woofs and flattering statements at first, but who am I kidding: none of them will ever compare to Rocky.   I made a few good friends, had some fun times, and maybe in some cases met people whom I would probably entertained more had I never met Rocky, but the fact remains: My heart knows who deserves it, and that has not changed a single bit.

But yeah, I think I'm nearly at the limits of my patience for being on these networks.  It wasn't as if I did not know there were lots of bag eggs out there.  But to give them an avenue to throw me a message, then call me  names when my opinions disagree with theirs is quite frankly now starting to feel like a bad idea.  And hey, I am aware that complaining about this is as much as pointless as complaining about hearing Oppa Gangnam Style playing over and over, when the truth is you're the very person who set the music player to have that song on repeat.

There's only one way out of it, right?
Change it yourself.

Or shut the damn thing up and focus on what you want.

Gaming, from what I gather, may be in another slump.  My Adventure-Aberrant-Aeon Trinity game might meet an undesired cancellation, so to speak.  I will always find it strange when someone gets all jealous and insecure over having their significant other hang out and play with his friends once every week (or at times, once a month even!) but I know I should just try to understand and accept whatever they decide.  I will never comprehend why there are couples that exist which aren't celebrating each other's interests.  Or giving each other room to celebrate their own thing.  I once was in a relationship where my passion for gaming was stifled.  And to some extent, I even dropped it for a while to make it work.  But in the end, I found myself just resenting the fact I was seemingly being made to sacrifice my passion instead of being invited to share it.

I just feel its wrong when one part of the relationship thinks it will only work if only one side sacrifices something.  Couples make a promise to work things out together, right?

Work is okay.  Great in many ways, but scary in others.  While one job is overwhelmingly active with lots of workload, the other is frighteningly having man power issues.  And I find myself caught in the middle.   It is a delicate balancing act to work on starting tomorrow, I admit.  But hey, at least I have jobs.

My wisdom tooth is starting to get really painful.  Which in some ways seems to be perfectly timed to my desire to stop entertaining the networks.  When I had my first wisdom tooth removed many years back, I was bed-ridden for three days.  The tooth was latched onto the jaw bone, and the dentist had to shatter the connection with a painful twist.  This second one, the dentist warned me, was more complicated and was best to be dealt with at a later date.  I guess that "later date" has come and I can only wonder how long I'll be stuck recovering this time.    But I know I want this fixed before November comes along.  Rocky and I have gotten tickets to fly to Singapore to watch Jersey Boys.  I don't wanna miss that due to a medical issue.

And yes, I think it is time to bring my smoking to another attempted closure.  Tonight will be the last time I buy a pack for the duration of this attempt.  Here's hoping this time, I'll succeed and saying goodbye to nicotine for a few years (if not for the rest of my life.)  I'm expecting it will be an emotional rollercoaster to get through the cravings and stress-smoking desires, but hey, with things already topsy-turvy on some days, I might as well weather through them all in one go, right?

Bad Wolf.

I see Bad Wolf all around me.
And if you watch Dr. Who then you know what it really means.

So yeah,  Bad Wolf.
I still believe I got time on my side.

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