This is a runaway rant train. I do not suggest getting caught in its path. No, I will never disclose who these people are but these thoughts are eating me up and I best get them out before the next year begins.
1.) Sometimes I wonder why I bother. Sometimes I wonder why I try to be so open-minded with you. Do you realize how hard it is to be your friend? Do you realize that at times, you can be so self-centered and so dense?
But then I remember you ARE my friend. And so I remain steadfast and ever there to make sure you are safe and well. But really. Sometimes, notice naman how you affect me.
2.) I love you as my friend, but really, you can be so full of shit. But don't worry, we can grab the shit and make fucking crap castles with it.
3.) Wake up. Wake and up realize how damn lucky you are. Are you really that blind to all the blessings and opportunities you have surrounding you? So things aren't exactly the way you want. Who ever gets something exactly the way they want, any way?
4.) Okay. Fine. I get the point. So I've been biased for quite some time. But if you knew the whole story, you'd realize I'm actually being very generous and kind to be merely biased and not more confrontational.
5.) Thank you. Actually, I have already told you this, but I am posting it here again in case you don't remember. Thank you for being my friend and thank you for once being my enemy. It was by seeing both extremes that now I can truly say I know you. And you know me. And with that, we have a friendship far stronger than ever.
Thank you again for being my friend.
Even if you barely remember when I open up to you.
6.) Slow down. I know you feel the world has thrown upon you its weight and pressure, but really, drowning yourself in your sorrows helps no one. No one at all.
Break out of your routine. Do something different. Trust me it helps.
And one last rant for myself:
You are fucking thirty one.
Thirty frigging one years old. Stop thinking you can save the world. Stop thinking all your friends need you to help them. And stop you can easily see in the perspectives of others. You can't know everything and you DON'T know everything so don't kick yourself too hard when things go foul.
And yes. Though it feels like you're chasing pavements, don't be blind to the fact at least there still are roads to choose from. Other people don't have such liberties.
That's it for now.
Am getting off this train.