Pictures from the Past... Thoughts on the Present...

As a kid, i used to be the weird kid.   Hmm, I know in many ways I still do fall under the category of "the weird guy" but as a kid it was much more pronounced.  I used to have problems with being around too many people (there was too much stimuli to receive at the same time.  In the picture above, look for the uneasy kid in the crowd.) and I used to have far too much energy for a kid of my age.  Although I wasn't the kid of kid who got into trouble a lot, I was usually the one who started some new cause of trouble in school (like passing around notes to the point that fellow classmates would pass around notes folded like paper planes whenever the teacher would look away) or sneaking in snacks and selling them to my classmates.

Even as the years went by, I always seemed to find myself in a strange ironic state of being.  I was always in the shadow of my brother, the taller and handsomer and more talented one among us, but at the same time was always desperately seeking to do something he can't do.  We'd have matching clothes, same toys and similar hobbies, but I would always struggle to find a way to bring it to some other level.  Or do it in some other way.  He'd make action comics and super heroes, I'd suddenly go brutal splatter fest and horror.  He'd grab a video camera and make mock "on the spot interviews" and news reports, I'd turn the camere into a monster's POV and make a snuff film.

We were always similar enough but different enough and it was mostly me wanting to be like him... and some how be better than him.

When my sister finally joined us, things were suddenly very interesting at home.  The panganay would get what he wanted (look! Its a basketball court in the background, not a swimming pool) while the bunso would get the expected attention (only girl kasi).  The result?   I ended up upping my A-game.  I became the jester.  The source of laughs.  The wild card in the family who would do what everyone else would not.

Now, there are few people who get to know me and not quickly gain the impression of me as a fun person to be with.  Or a source of endless jokes.  Or a wellspring of laughter.   Which I guess is true.  After all, it has taken me my lifetime to master.

Keep laughing, people.
Your problems ain't that bad.
Everything passes with time.