Thursday, June 19, 2008

The Incredible Hulk

Rating:★★
Category:Movies
Genre: Action & Adventure
This is going to be one of those reviews others will ignore.
Why? Because I didn't like it.

I actually like the Ang Lee versions more.

This Hulk, while having much more interesting action scenes tremendously lacked, for me, in the heart department of what makes Hulk more than just a Frankenstein story with green skin. Yes, we get the wonderful destructiveness of the Hulk... in a single street block. Oh and a university park.

For some reason too, the massive bulk of both the Hulk and the Abomination are barely that massive enough that the Hulk does not sink in the muddy waters he walks on. Nor do they both combined really cause a helicopter to drop. And yes, for some reason, the Hulk has a fondness to actually using tools. Let's ignore the fact he beautifully did the Hulk Smash move and focus on the fact he's seemingly obsessed with using cars as shield/weapons.

Wtf?

The military was pathetically incapable of handling things. After knowing what the Hulk can do, why waste time with all those bullets and men charging for no real good reason. Mas may tactics pa yung mga bata sa Battle Royale.

Liv Tyler, with her collagen-enriched lips, looks horrible. I am sorry. She really just looks horrible. She almost looks like a drag queen in some shots. Her outburst to drag her father out of a vehicle in one scene was laughable. And her finding the guy who has been eluding the military for years by just driving down the road while its raining was just utterly unimaginative. Why'd he hide then if he'd just do that? Or was he NOT expecting her to see him?

So this new Hulk has some kind of Spawn fetish, with his penchant for loving shadows and using chains, but boy, near the end he get's envious of Spider-man and starts moving through the city like a tarzan sans ropes.

Again, his bulk can be carried by those things?

Really.

Ah, bring me back Ang Lee's version.
Just someone teach Ang Lee how to focus more on action scenes than father - son dramatic moments. And while Ang Lee had those stupid dog monsters in his movie, at least dealing with them was resolved. Here, what the hell happens to the Abomination? The suggested scene was Hulk spared him rather than cut his head off. But what, did the General get punished for his association in all this? Doesn't look like it considering in the end, Tony Stark still refers to him as a man of power. So what the hell happened then? Was there any point for the movie to happen or did nothing change at all?

Ano yan? Parang bagyo sa Pilipinas?
"Ay nagkahulk nung isang linggo. Ang dami nga namatay eh. At baka daw magka Superhulk sa susunod na linggo. Anyway, anong palabas sa sine ngayon?"

I hated it.
Really.

Sorry.

12 comments:

  1. You're actually not alone. A friend of mine in the US posted in favor of Ang Lee's film... It's a slightly controversial post to say the least. :P

    http://fandomgreen.livejournal.com/308316.html

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  2. Thanks for the lead Tobie! Lemme see if I get get my mitts on the Ang Lee version.

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  3. Honestly I liked Ang Lee's take on it. I have yet to see the new movie, but as I am now broke, it will have to wait until after the next payday.

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  4. I haven't seen Ang Lee's version. It came out when I was extremely focused on mothering and not going out much.

    For me, this HULK shines best when Ed Norton and Tim Roth are on the screen. They completely and utterly outdo their alter egos--Hulk and Abomination.

    In fact, hey, I could have handled Ed and Tim for two hours without those creatures.

    Though--I was half hoping he'd turn into Brad Pitt when he got angry. Ooops. Different movie.

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  5. haven't seen it...
    so far you're the only one (I know) who hated it...

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  6. Hehheehh! Ganun talaga.
    Like how everyone I knew panned American Beauty, and I was like, "WTF?!?! Its an incredible film!"

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  7. Heheheheh. Funny way to imagine things.
    :-D

    They should have Tim Roth (Abomination) versus Brad Pitt (Mr. Benjamin Button) instead! heheh

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  8. Well, I'll let you decide. Heheh.

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  9. BWahaahah!!!

    Nice one!

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  10. Good luck!

    Just try to survive Ang Lee's attempt to make it have comic panels. :-D I loved those. Many hated them.

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