Tuesday, November 08, 2005


I've always known myself to have moments of being bull-headed and easily frustrated. People who know the real me know how much I devote my time, effort and attention to those whom I care about and how I have unwritten and unspoken expectations to be respected and treated as a person. So it can be funny at times to realise how I still allow myself to be surrounded at times by people who just frustrate me.

Being stuck at work til ten, and not being able to move forward in a project due to delays caused by other people, I decided to creatively spent this time exorcising the very said frustrations onto my blog. Sort of a cathartic exhale so to speak. Listed here are various entities who have in one way or another, added to the frustrations of today.

Kaya kung may tamaan diyan, please, realise that if I have not brought it up to you, its probably because I don't want to rock the boat (or most likely it is because I don't talk to you.. wait, why are you reading this blog then?). But if you do think it applies to you, maybe you should just take it as a hint to look at yourself and change a few things that aren't helping anyone anyway.

Alpha cares first and formost for himself above everyone else. Which if you think about it is actually healthy if it is done in a way that does not use or abuse others. Sadly, that is not the case. Alpha takes what he wants and ravages others for what he needs, then claims deep seated psychological issues as the reasons he does what he does. Pity the kind and loving ones who still support him and treat him with civility, for Alpha will never notice or care.

Beta on the other hand treats the world as a stupid children's show where nothing emotionally destructive should have any basis. Where any tears shed or wounds from another's actions are ignored unless they are his own. Beta loves finding ways to remind you of how nothing should matter and why being sensitive to another's emotions is not part of being mature.

Charlie is a creative force. Charlie chruns and gives birth so often, it is truly something to admire. But Charlie has a tendancy to choose too selectively whom does and doesn't matter. And sadly, his choices can cause many others to feel like they don't reach some unspoken standard Charlie demands, which makes it difficult at times to feel like his friend. Most likely, however, such a tendancy is unconscious and unintended.

Delta strove into the world and suddenly realised that there were many many things he did not want in it. So Delta commands they should be changed and expects them to change. But don't make the mistake of thinking Delta will help change things. Delta just wants the world to become what he wants before he enters it.

Echo lives in his own time. Deadlines and promised target dates are ignored unless they are things that will affect Echo's personal time and comfort. Echo has a strange self-deluded belief that he is doing everything the way they should be done, which tends to mean doing things in a way that take four times the length of time than normal.

Foxtrot is in a mess. Foxtrot cannot seem to realise that others aren't too happy to see him. Though Foxtrot tries to be better, most of the time, Foxtrot makes inane comments that others feel the need to move away. Still, Foxtrot tries and tries regardless.

Golf never listens. Trust me, I've tried to say things in so many ways, but Golf never listens. All you can do is just ride the waves and hope you don't drown.

Hotel confuses me. Hotel can be very confusing because Hotel is rarely consistent. And add the fact that Hotel can be horrifically forgetful, one can imagine how hard it can be to do anything with Hotel.

India spends so much each night, he expects others to help. And when they do, he keeps long lines of i-owe-yous that he tends to forget to cover, unless you remind him.

Juliet just loves to destroy my name. I don't contact him anymore or even make any attempts to reach him and yet any time I meet someone who knows him, I learn Juliet still tells them and others whom I have not even met yet that I am someone whom "getting to know might not be in your best interests." Talk about intense. Juliet also claims I have not let go. Hmmm?

Kilo does not realise how much I want to teach him a lesson. He does things which really irk me and even crosses certain lines I rather he didn't, but I know I have no right to demand or tell him anything so I just ignore it when I should. Kilo's a nice guy and all but he really needs to be taught a lesson.

There... I already feel much better. Funny, looking back at the list, I see the pattern of me just being too much a damned martyr to talk to these people fac-to-face about these issues. Well, not really, considering for a number of them I've already done that, and still came out the "bad guy" in their perspective. Evidently, I did stick to the male pronoun to keep things... concealed.

But I guess that's how the world works.

And no, I will NEVER reveal who these people are. Why? Because I do not need to rock the boat. Because I am happy and content where I am. And because there is never such a thing as a perfect friendship. Never. But there is such a thing as being a sensitive friend.

Sensitive, of course, in the sense that you be more empathetic to the other.

Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe
Cathy delos Santos

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