Friday, June 03, 2005

And I can't seem to get any sleep. Been taking some meds to help with the phlegm but it has the nasty side effect of keeping me up too. Guess that just took no-drowsy to whole new level, eh? Coughing less intermittently now, but my throat is so hoarse I speak with the voice of a someone who can portray a fucking Orc for LOTR. Well, here's hoping its all back to normal by the time I get home for my gaming.

Mom and sister were busy struggling to prep their things for their flight home tomorrow. Both had fallen asleep hours ago when their bodies reminded them that they needed to grab some rest. Me, am just riding the night with my throat all tingly and itchy each time I try to lie down. Every cough, when they come, feels like an attempt to rip my damn lungs out of my chest. Yep, its a sign to quit or at least stop for a few weeks or two.

Was browsing through the blogs I love to read and felt another unnecessary pang of emotional jealousy. Read the hilarious exploits of some friends of mine and wondered why I was never handed a particular quiz. Saw the interesting pictures from the recent convention and felt slightly frustrated it had to happen when I was out of the country. At least I felt a surge of joy when I realised I will be around for Neil Gaiman's book signing; I mistook his July trip to be June. Ultimately, however, I felt once again those annoying frustrations of being detached and far from the minds of those I felt were my friends and wondered if I am just expecting too much or seeing more than was hoped to be noticed.

Heck, even as I write this I'm already wondering who'll be the first one to tell me I'm over-reacting, and who'll be the first one to realise I'm really just choosing to be vulnerably emotionally honest right now.

Having another see-saw moment of "Wish I was home, wish I could stay longer" going on in my head. Lifehouse is playing this 23 - 24 here in Los Angeles for an acoustic concert which is making me wish I could stay longer. So is Alanis, and she's focussing on songs from her original album to boot. But then again, here looms another weekend and I always want to have my gaming happen on weekends. There, too, is the coming promise of other things to do once I get home (things which I rather not elaborate on, I must admit).

Finished reading a bunch of the stuff I had bought. Still searching for a copy of Secret of Zir'An, which annoyingly is not available in bookstores yet. Have yet to find an actual role-playing games shop near our area, nor met with Angela Paman or Ma-an Acunsion who promised to show me around. And frustratingly, yes, I am sick.
Still sick. Annoying sick.

I think the other definition for this is slightly depressed.

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