OH YES
We are at Nationstates.com .

ZIR'AN
Just sent my three pieces to them. Hope they like them. Tried to be brutally honest. Eep.

BLOG WEIRDNESS
Blogger offered some code to try to fix the problem with the "large space". Here's hoping it works.

WORK
Work is getting back to the way I remember it. And no, that's not really a good thing.

FRIENDS
Happy to know who my real friends are. Also happy to know that I've finally decide to open my horizons and get to know people that others actually TOLD ME NOT TO GET TO KNOW THEM. Grabe no. There are just really some people like that.

COMICS
Been reading comics again. Read the first trade paperback of Y-The Last Man and got to complete Phonenix: End Song. Loved how both turned out. Wish End Song was longer though. Felt like the plot was cheated and breezed through. Then, there's the wonderful "It's a bird" Vertigo Superman tale. And lastly, the Supreme Power that really makes me smile.

VIGNETTE: Wooden Hearts

"I never lied to you," she wept.

He took the long frown that was plastered on her face to be an attempt to convey the nakedness of her feelings. He took the crooked lips, the prominent cheek furrows, and the pouted lower lip to be an evident display of both her guilt and her sadness. He stared at her eyes, brown and dull from the long time she had held them low and stared unfocused on the ground a few feet away, and found himself drawn to the tiny icicle droplets that would fall as tears when she shook just a bit too much.

He closed the door leading to his heart, turned the lock and snapped it shut, then drew out the key and slid it into the small pocket on his jeans. He walked up to her, not a single word escaping from his lips as he did so, and then paused for one last time; one last chance to hear from her admit the truth of the matter. Perhaps, just perhaps if she were then to admit such things... perhaps then he would find it in himself to actually forgive her. And be willing to start over.

"I never..." she began and for him it was enough.

He reached out towards her and clamped both hands down on the sides of her down-turned head. He pushed his thumbs against her temple, finding a secure grasp on each side, then dug his fingers into the small gaps that existed between her face and her head. They were there, he knew. The miniscule inconsistencies to her claims and half-truths that made the mask of innocence that she wore loose enough to be noticed for what it was. He tensed. Then twisted his hands in a rough clockwise motion while pulling away from her.

The mask ripped out with a rich papery tear.

"No!" she gasped, feeling the parchment face that she had painted on earlier fall apart. She dropped to her knees, clamping both hands to cover her now naked head.

He was not finished. Grabbing the torn mask with both hands, he then twisted his grip in each hand and pulled in opposite directions, tearing it once again into halves. Again and again, he tore at the insulting visage and allowed the broken shards of false emotion to scatter to the ground.

"Don't ever lie to me again," he told her and let the last bits of plaster and glued paper fall from his palms. He never even looked at her as he began to walk away. "Don't. Its quite too obvious when you're just putting up a face, sweetheart. Its quite obvious when a mannequin lies."


Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe
Cathy delos Santos

WHOA...
Ever wanted to Challenge Darth Vader?
http://sithsense.com/flash.htm

ANOTHER WEEKEND DONE
Hmm.. that's two weeks of no nicotine. So far so good! Shhh! Don't tell anyone okay?

ORPHEUS: THE COMEDY IS OVER
Finally the comeback session with a rough start, but damn, the rise and build-up of events just keep coming. With the Crucible facing the coming threat of the Underwold, one of the Hives destroys itself in what can only be described as an act that disregards the laws of the supernatural. And now, a breach into the Maelstorm leaks into the real world and must be sealed before the two worlds combine into one horrific place.

Special thanks to James, Aldwin, Sam, and Teddy for being in the game. Seth followed up but succumbed to sleep and exhaustion. Bambi was unable to drop by, which was kinda sad, but hey, no biggie I guess. There's always next time!

BAD BOYS
Finally got to see this darn movie! Funny and great script! I noticed that many parts of the movie were catering to the gay/female market and I didn't really mind. I just have to admit it seemed kinda interesting to catch them in a movie primarily aimed at a straight male crowd.

Or was it? Hehehe...

LASTLY,
Here's hoping the weird quirk Blogger has been having of making my posts have this HUGE space between posts is finally fixed.

Is it?

BLOGGER ACTING UP
Weird extra spaces between posts. Have no idea why.
Oh well, I guess.

IN A FEW HOURS
Its going to be another Orpheus night.
Will be having two special guests tonight!

First, we got Bambi, who's gracing the game with her presence and possibly taking a stab at playing under me. Not too long ago, her brother Art and her sister-in-law Jurist had a taste of playing a World of Darkness game with me and James. I wonder if she'll enjoy the game as much as they did!

Secondly, it seem Seth's ready to come back and guest in the stories building to the grand finale of the series. His interest has been reawakened considering Orpheus' finale has much more in relation to Vampire: The Dark Ages than it did when it began... and in many ways he always did prefer those kind of games.

Here's hoping it goes well this time!
Crossing my fingers and toes.

Broken Vow

Tell me his name
I want to know
The way he looks
And where you go
I need to see his face
I need to understand
Why you and I came to an end

Tell me again
I want to hear
Who broke my faith in all these years
Who lays with you at night
When I'm here all alone
Remembering when I was your own

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

Tell me the words I never said
Show me the tears you never shed
Give me the touch
That one you promised to be mine
Or has it vanished for all time

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Why do I keep on asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

I close my eyes
And dream of you and I
And then I realize
There's more to life than only bitterness and lies
I close my eyes

I'd give away my soul to hold you once again
And never let those moments end

I'll let you go
I'll let you fly
Now that I know why I'm asking why
I'll let you go
Now that I found
A way to keep somehow
More than a broken vow

REUNION

Had a small reunion with old friends. It was in many ways touching, seeing how many of us have grown within the last few years. Some got married. Some were now from other countries. And yet, in many ways, we were still the same people who laughed over the strange teachers, joked about the hilarious moments in class and cared for one another like one gigantic extended family. Shared stories and jokes and talked about everything from love lives, to Bambi's frightening yet miraculous accident, to talking about talking about sex, to Pao, to being a magnet and more. Bambi offered to give me a ride home, which gave us some time to catch up on even more stories and memories.



Definitely one of those subtley amazing moments in my life.

Definitely.

VIGNETTE: TYPE IN P-I-N-A-Y

She slid the mouse across the table and clicked on the button labelled search. A grimace crossed her face when she saw how being a Filipina had meant being something in Yahoo! Singapore's Auctions. Or something on eBay. How the other suggested searches (which reflected other common search combinations) showed Pinay Celebs, Pinay Scandals, Private Pinay, Pinay Celebrity Scandals, Pinay Manyak, Pinay Kantutan...

She screamed.

She released the growing frustration and sense of irritation out as a focused yell that captured the anger she felt. According to the internet, she was a commodity. She was some product. Some sexual source of entertainment. And she didn't know what she could do to change it.

Would writing in blogs help? Would sending e-mail petitions? Would creating an even more popular non-mail-order-bride oriented Pinay site work? How about starting a movement and getting some local celebrities to help out?

She wasn't sure. She did not know if acting would only give those who abused and misused her label even more attention. She did not know if others would even care; the crab-mentality Filipinos are said to be deeply engaged in was more real than not, after all.

But she couldn't stand idly by. She couldn't pretend this wasn't important to her. Or that this did not matter. It was just a label, that was true. Just as the word Christ is just a word. Or the word Freedom is just something that means something. There were some things that are actually far more sacred than others realise. And for her, it was the label of being Pinay. Sure, the country was in dire straits. Ali Baba and his 40 theives seem to have found at least three wives each to populate the government. And the many corporations that could a the difference have all been raised to suckle on nothing but the bottom line. But she was still proud of her heritage, as mixed as Filipino heritage was. She was proud that she was raised with Filipino sensibilities. She was proud to have been born a member of a country that has adapted and embraced all these moments in history and varying cultures in the world.

She was proud she was Pinay.

She just wished the internet didn't so easily tarnish that pride.


Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe
Cathy delos Santos

TOILET TALES
From the initial story of a man on the ivory throne being visited by the Messenger of God, we got another spin on the "man on the ivory throne" idea. This one is by Isha, whose blog "The Chronicles of a Lost Girl" can be found at http://rainecloud.blogspot.com/ Its a great story with its own unique twist and creative voice of her own.

Does anyone else out there want to take a stab at writing their own Toilet Tales?

SA MGA DADDY DIYAN!

And yes, Carl, you're there cause you're the Daddy of the one and only ZsaZsa Zaturnnah!

DILIMAN.BLOGGED

Thank to Jonas who has always been a supporter of this comic. Also special thanks to everyone else who has been trying to get me to get the latest issue done. Ever since the official website for Diliman (http://diliman.design.ph) passed away, I was distraught and wondered how I can get this online comic back into availability for others to read. Everything from a possible webspace from ePLDT to it being hosted officially in the Alamat website were considered. But almost all fell apart for one reason or another.

Well, Jonas then suggested two things: Blogspot and Photobucket. With the ability to have comments each page, we now have something akin to a "commentary" for each page.
Check it out now.

GIOVANNI CHRONICLES
The game last weekend didn't go as well as I would have hoped. Sam, Aldwin and Seth were playing... Awie, who was supposed to finally join the fun, wasn't able to make it. Although we were all excited and pumped up to play, for some reason it didn't just seem like it should have. Seth and Aldwin were tossing back and forth side comments unlike before. Sam was evidently caught between wanting to move things forward and letting the others make the events move. Both Seth and Aldwin and I soon were struggling against drowsiness (at alternate times). I tell you, the game session, though okay, had more negative things happening than positive.

For a moment, I found myself even scared: We're we suddenly bored of Giovanni Chronicles? Was this an effect of not being able to game for so long? Part of me was even wondering, was this some sign we were outgrowing RPGs?

I hope not.

Roleplaying games has long been a hobby of mine that I nurtured and carefully cultivated. It is a hobby I got to share with friends, strangers and even foreigners in conventions local and abroad. It is a hobby I invest in, I practice, I spend time preparing and fixing. And it is a hobby I want to grow old still playing and engaging in.

Maybe it was just some quirk.
Maybe we were just tired. Or maybe we were just... not in sync that night.
Or something.

This weekend is Orpheus: The Comedy is Over.
Guess that would be a true test, eh?
Scary...

ARAHAN
Another something to look forward too.

Its like a modern day Exalted game with a
touch of Adventure! and Aberrant.
Hehheheeh... And you gotta admit,
she's purty pretty.

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO
SMARTPARTS is a movie I hope will be shown here in Manila someday. The basic synopsis is:

A small-time conman hiding out after a successful score faces a desperate struggle for survival when he discovers the storage warehouse chosen as a temporary hideout is also the secret home for a group of abandoned and forgotten military robots...

...one of which seems to have gone insane.

Interview Me
These questions came from Monty. To play the game, follow the instructions at the end of this post.

1. What do you think is the greatest TV show of all time? Why?

The Greatest TV show of all time has to be the original Twilight Zone series. From that show, everything from reality tv to x-files, from movies like Blair Witch Project and Sixth Sense, to television series like Charmed and Early Edition were born. Twilight Zone was the show that forced us to rethink the world around us, to rethink the ways we tell our stories, to rethink the way a show presents its characters, to rethink the ways a show makes use of special effects and music. Twilight Zone was the first constantly transforming and evolving television show that touched on many genres, did not need a constant high profile star and made use of everything from garages, to forests, mountainous regions to ufos to create constantly evolving and challenging stories that engaged and entertained its audience.

2. Tell us about the greatest artistic work you have created. It could be anything -- prose, poem, drawing, etc. Share your story, feelings and other illuminating details which would make us feel that we were right there during that beautiful moment.

Strangely, I would have to say the "Greatest artistic work" I have accomplished so far is one that is still on-going: My life.

As an artist, I do not niche myself with the definitions of an artist to be one who embraces poverty, throws conventions to the wind, pretends to have a war with commercialism and yet seeks to be monetarily expensive.

I believe being an artist means nurturing your inner child and living a life of color and inspiration. And so far, my life is far from boring. Far from perfect. But creative and healthily multi-faceted enough to inspire and help others become more creative as well.

Weird ba?


3. Do you consider Philippines as your home? Or is it some other place? Or is it anywhere just as long as there’s a Jamba Juice within proximity?

The Philippines, with all its corruption, its idiotic majority, its self-centered commercialism-focused masses, its narrow-vision mentors and its dreamless youth.. remains the one and only true home for me.

Though I have gone to the United States numerous times, visited Hong Kong, checked out Canada and imagined myself escaping to Australia or diving into Japan... I still find myself absolutely certain that if there was one place in the world I would truly wish to live in, grow old in, and bid farewell at... it is here.

Why?

I feel at home here.
That's all there is to it.

4. Who do you think is the most complex character ever written? (It can be from a book, movie or TV show). Why do you say so?

I personally feel that the most complex character ever written among all the characters I have read, read about, watched, viewed, listened to or played with (the last being in reference to Role-playing games, my ultimate hobby) I would have to choose The Enigma himself from Duncan Fegredo and Peter Milligan's Veritgo creation which had its own 8 issue mini-series that most failed to appreciate.

Its a study on a man who is born in what could have been an ordinary love-filled family, but due to immense and impossible powers gets twisted into a tale where a lost soul is raised to believe in his own world and forced to adapt twice: to the real world, and to a comic world which for him holds more life and love than the real world could ever offer. Until he learns to look beyond the real world and see what its twisted sides have to offer.

Confusing?
It is.
But it gets easier to understand if you read it.

5. How do you see yourself as a father when the time comes? Laissez-faire? Worse than Benito Mussolini? Is there going to be a different treatment between a boy and a girl? Share with us your thoughts on this.

Once I become a father, the first thing that I believe will happen is me going through a period of self-dissection and worry: Am I ready for this? Am I someone who should be raising a child? Is the world going to be accepting of me as someone who a child will learn from and grow up like? Will I be ready to discipline him? To nurture his latent creativity? To inspire him? To remind him of reality while helping him embrace his imagination?

Boy or girl, the main problem I believe I will be forced to tackle is less caused by the child's gender or sex and more by the child's definition of both. The world we live in is currently one which holds fast on many labels, including lables which do much to fuel discrimination, malice and insult. To I teach them to go against the majority and dispose of such labels? Do I show them the need to fit-in and tell them to embrace such labels, and only go against them when they are old enough to realise what I am talking about?

Raising my own kids are a story and adventure of their own I would love to one day undertake. But at the same time, knowing this adventure is not just my own life but also the life of a new born child to soon create his or her own tales, I have to be careful. I have to be careful not to be the author of his own stories. To nurture the child's voice and inspire the child to sing and form tales even if many of what he or she will start with are notes and fragments that come from my own.


Here are The Official Interview Game Rules:

1. If you want to participate, leave a comment below saying “interview me.”
2. I will respond by asking you five questions - each person’s will be different.
3. You will update your journal/blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview others in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

If you don’t have a blog, I will still ask you 5 unique questions and you can post your answers here.

VIGNETTE: MANUEL
His first encounter with them was while he was sitting on the toilet.

His jeans were clumped around his ankles like denim blue pets that sought for their master's attentions. His black boxer briefs was much higher, the elastic waistband giving enough tesion to cling on to the place just past his bent knees. He was shirtless; though he did enter the cubicle with a collared polo and a white tee. It was in his habit to remove all upper garments completely before stripping his pants down. He preferred feeling as completely naked as possible whenever he visited the ivory throne.

His mind danced with fanciful images of ex-lovers and violence purpetrated upon those whom made his work-life more stressful than it should be. His hands absent-mindedly scratched the dry skin of his inner thigh. Any moment, he was planning to reach down for the bag he brought with him and bring out the main reason he really went to the toilet in the first place. He was lost in a world of his own thoughts with his body busy doing the routine deed when they gave the first since of their presence in his midst.

And in no way was it a subtle one.

White light that blinded him erupted impossibly from the ceiling above the cubicle he was in. There was no heat. No sense of fear or danger coming to life inside of his heart as the white intensity filled the cubicle and eliminated any possible shadow inside its scope.

"Manuel, rise for you have been Chosen."

Manuel raised his right arm to block the light that blinded his eyes and tried to perceive where it was all coming from. He saw a hint of silk. Of golden threads. Of feathers.

"Rise for God has chosen you to partake in one of the Almighty's Mysteries."

Manuel stared blankly at the beautiful winged form that seemed to hover above the cubicle. The ceiling, it seemed, had vanished. Instead, the great white light streamed from am immensely vast city that remained nested amongst the clouds above. The clear blue sky was achingly wide and calm. And approaching from the City's open gates were seventeen choirs of angels who held in their hands the crystalline harps and golden trumpets. They sang with a melodious symphony of notes and fluttered closer with neither effort nor exhaustion.

"I am the Angel whom you have deemed to call Jibrael. And the Almighty Father has asked me to deliver to you this message. You are the one Chosen to deliver to the world Our Father's latest Message. The Rapture shall come forth after the seventh full Moon has shown its face. Those who wish to be deemed worthy must disconnect all electronic devices and machines in their homes and wait in their rooms naked and sleeping. All earthly treasures and wants must be left behind. And those who do so shall be given due notice on whether or not they shall be worthy of accompanying the Father and embracing the Rapture to follow. This is the message of God, our Father Almighty. Blessed are you, Manuel, to have been Chosen by God for this task."

Manuel nodded slowly and watched as the lights all faded away. The harmonious song faded as the last hints of the miracle faded from view the same moment the ceiling of the restroom returned to where it should be.

He flushed the toilet. Slowly wiped himself clean, more out of unconsious habit once again considering he never moved his bowels, and flushed the crumpled tissue down the toilet as well.

Finally, sheepishly, he reached down for his bag, looked into the darkned interior and wiped a sweat bead off his forehead as he closed the bag and slid it back to the floor. He got dressed quickly and picked up the bag before running out of the cubicle even as his trembling knees continued their struggle to hold his weight.

There was one thought, one thought alone that remained in Manuel's head the whole time:

Had the angels and the whole display of Heaven come a few seconds later... they would have caught him wanking off.


Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe
Cathy delos Santos

ANG HIRAP PALA

ANYTHING FOR YOU
Gloria Estefan

Anything for you
Though you’re not here
Since you said we’re through
It seems like years
Time keeps draggin on and on
And forever’s been and gone
Still I can’t figure what went wrong

I’d still do anything for you
I’ll play your game
You hurt me through and through
But you can have your way

I can pretend each time I see you
That I don’t care and I don’t need you
And though you’ll never see me cryin’
You know inside I feel like dying
And I’d do anything for you
In spite of it all
I’ve learned so much from you
You made me strong
But don’t you ever think that I don’t love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don’t work out right
And you just have to say goodbye

I hope you find somone to please you
Somone who’ll care and never leave you
But if that someone ever hurts you
You just might need a friend to turn to

And I’d do anything for you
I’ll give you up
If that’s what I should do
To make you happy

I can pretend each time I see you
That I don’t care and I don’t need you
And though inside I feel like dying
You know you’ll never see me crying

Don’t you ever think that I don’t love you
That for one minute I forgot you
But sometimes things don’t work out right
And you just have to say goodbye

THE ZOO!

As a finale for the fun-filled trip here in Los Angeles, my brother Mike and my sister-in-law Ives decided to bring me and my dad and the kids to San Diego Zoo! Spending one whole day there, we went around and checked out the animals, took the tour bus, rode a sky-ferry and had fun watching the Bears, the Elephants, and hunting for the lion!

Definitely going to try to revisit the place and see the other even newer sections there the next time I get to travel .  For now though, am content to have seen all the wonderful beasties and the great sights to see in San Diego Zoo.  Too bad though, we weren't able to check out the Giant Pandas.

SOME THINGS TO READ AND BEAR IN MIND
Exalted Second edition
Yes, they're coming out with one. And notice, it is Second Edition and not Revised edition. Hmm... Backward compatibility is the only thing that will allow me to consider buying these new books. That, and a promise that creative influx goes hand-in-hand with clear system definition.

For those who want to keep track, read here.

AN ATTEMPT TO GET HEALTHIER
Yep. Gonna try getting into Yoga.
I guess its cause I don't have time or money for gym yet.
So there, Yoga and sit-ups. Eh?
Here's hoping they work.

Well, This is it
Just hope it lands safely.

THE THINGS TOBACCO COMPANIES DO...
Here in Los Angeles, I have been monitoring various commercials and home-tv shopping segments to get a pulse on what the North American trend exists when it comes to such productions. I've been looking into the visual style, the musical touches and even the camera shot choices as research for discussion when I get back to Manila. One of the many ads that really got me curious were commercials for a campaign against Tobacco Companies called Fair Enough where they re-enact what at first seem to be humorous segments about Tobacco companies attempting to divert attention to the dangers of smoking by funding campaigns against other things, or by considering creating food alternatives and snacks made of cigarettes. Horrifyingly, none of it is fictional. The actual documents on such thinigs can be found here.

Talk about freaky, eh.

LET ME HEAR FROM YOU
Yes. I do love to hear from people I deem part of my life. No, I'm not after super-special new things and twists in your life. I'm not after learning that someone went through major changes or made life-changing decisions. No, I don't care if I receive an e-mail and all it was meant to say was "Hello Tobie! Yes, I missed you today." I'm not after transciptions of how a day went, or detailed synopsis of what your weekend turned out to be.

Between lovers, the term for it even makes more sense: SWEET NOTHINGS.
That's what I am after from my friends. Not necessarily sweet. But actually receiving the Nothings. Actually receive some sign that you thought of me. Or realised you wanted to hear from me. Or maybe, just maybe, you thought about how much you wished to wish me well.

Maybe I'm being selfish when I say this. Or maybe its about time I have my own selfish moments, considering how often I live my life more for everyone else... especially for my friends.

I want to hear from you.
And I personally think if I mean anything to you, I should.
At least every now and then.

Sometimes, the feeling you've been forgotten
can be far more painful than being hated.

WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?
I earn a shitty salary. I love my job, don't get me wrong. I really love the challenges and the creativity in it all. But DAMN, I am really not paid enough for what I do. I do not think earning less than 20k with the responsibilities I juggle is really worth it.

I wish I could tell my boss that. Tell her I deserve a bigger paycheck.
I wish I wasn't too damn humble.

WITH THE KIDS AGAIN

Spend a few days with the kids, shopping for last minute stuff, and babysitting the two miscreants to allow Ates Ives and Kuya Mike to finally have time to go out to the Mall and shop for stuff they need.  Even found the chance to watch MADAGASCAR (again for me, but definitely for them) since with me, I could handle the kids, saving the seats and stuff so they can enjoy the movie!   I love these kids!  I wonder when I'll ever have my own? I'd like to think I can be a good Dad.  Hehehe!

Finally got to get some JAMBA JUICE too!
Been waiting for this for weeks!

LAST SATURDAY

First had dinner with the families of Joe and Nanette Abad and Trina and Del. Brother actually handled the grill and did the steaks pretty well. The kids were having a wild time playing at the beautiful patio garden. Chatted about horrible stalkers, the political climate of the Philippines and the various school choices in Los Angeles.


Later that evening, met up with Ma-an and Ben, both former officemates of mine, and headed to West Hollywood to join their friends at a club called Rage. Lots of men and women, and it was hard to tell who was and wasn't straight. Danced and went wild though most of the songs seemed unfamiliar. Then later, headed to a store to look for anything interesting for pasalubongs. Got three dicks for three gay friends of mine. Hope they aren't size queens.

LAST FRIDAY

Angela and her Dad picked me up with their spiffy Lexus.  The convertible top was really cool but sadly made conversations impossible.  Headed to Northridge mall and got tickets to see Madagascar.  Found a DVD of Dark City and then met up with Angela's friend who was having some boy trouble.  Shared anecdotes on how to punish wayward boyfriends "the Filipino Way" while having a quick snack and devouring Dark Chocolates from See's Candies.  Laughed out loud at Madagascar (favorite line: "If you have poo, fling it now!") but thought the movie was more aimed for adults than kids with the message being a strange "Don't be yourself, accept the civilized you."

VIGNETTE: SHE HATES HER DREAMS
Most girls dream of happy things. Of white-picket fences. Of ponies. Of roses. Of grandiose and elaborate gowns. Of crowns. Of star-lit skies and butterflies. Not Tandy. She never had such dreams.

She dreamed of a better world. She dreamed of being part of making the world a better place. She dreamed of making a difference in the country she lived in. Of the reminding the close-minded religious leaders who seem more occupied with finding ways to influence the government of what their roles are. Of walking the streets and making them safer. Of walking into the senate and reminding them all why they were given their posts. Of going to the government and ridding it of the corruption that exists.

And she hates her dreams.

She hates them more than the corruption that does exist in the government. More than the self-serving Senators and the politicking-addicted Cronies. More than the drug peddlers, than the bribe-receiving policemen, than the wished-i-were-in-government preachers and religious leaders. More than all the things already wrong with the country and the world she lived in.

She hates her dreams.
They're just too damn bloody.
And she never liked the idea of using guns and explosives.


Nikki Alfar
Tobie Abad
Gabby Lee
Andre Mischa Cleofe
Cathy delos Santos

BEEN WATCHING TELLY AGAIN
For the time I've been here at Los Angeles, I've been getting into certain shows even if I was never really the type of guy who liked television. One of them is a modern sci-fi thriller called the 4400 which is about a bunch of people who suddenly pop back after being missing for years from what was reputedly alien abductions.

Then, there's the BBC drama Spooks which deals with MI5. But unlike American action dramas like 24, Spooks has touches of drama, comedy and romance mixed with witty dialogue, serious political messages and very realistic complications. I'm hoping to find a copy of it somehow somewhere back home.

There's this dating thing called NEXT where one searcher meets five searchies one at a time. Each minute that the two spend together is a dollar the searchie gets once the searcher decides to say "Next." The searcher, of course, says "Next" if there is anything that he does not find to his interest with regards with the searchie. On the flip side of the scale, if the searcher really likes the searchie, the searcher tells the searchie this and the searchie has to choose between the money equal to the total minutes they've spent together or a second date with the searcher. Its great how at times you see them asked to do the weirdest things (everything from an enema, to a straight guy taking a ballet lesson, to a gay guy being asked to go spa-ing together) and at times the searchers who abuse their searchies get rejected by the searchie just to get even. Ah... ah reality tv show that captures the essence of how most one-night stands really are.

Of course there's Punk'd which many have heard of. And I just love seeing what happens to the stars. :-)

VISITED NANETTE, TIM, TWINK, MARK, JANNA AND JAKE
Had dinner at Tita Nanette and family's place yesterday. With Kuya Mike barbequing the steaks Tita Nanette and Twink marinated, we had a small dinner-at-the-garden outside the house with night falling around us. Tim and Mark shared with me their passion for old emulator games (although they failed to help me get a taste of Zelda Wind Waker, having been too occupied with Mike Tyson's Punch out!) Janna looked the young woman with an artistic soul! Jake was hyper energetic as always... and it was great seeing all the three kids having fun. Here's hoping Tita Nanette's recommended Ginger tablets kills my damn cough. I need my voice back for gaming!


THE MAAN-YAK, THE BENJUR AND ME
Went to West again for the third time this trip yesterday. Benjur and Ma-an, both old officemates of mine who used to work with me at ABS-CBN International/Global Ltd., picked me up at my brother's place around 10p.m. and after a momentary fiesta over the Chocolate Crunchies I brought for them from Manila, we headed to West for some pizza and clubbing. Cowboy, Bartender, Green Shirt and Pizza caught my eye; would have been fun to take their pictures to amuse ourselves on my blog but the last thing I want is some six-degrees-of-separation to have them find the blog and learn of the things I said about them, so no. :-P After a tiring night of dancing and two Bud Lights, visited a sex shop in hopes of finding gifts for friends. Almost got Seth a ball-gag but decided $15.00 for one was too expensive. Definitely found something for Sam though. I hope Aldwin won't mind.


As before, pictures to follow!

GIOVANNI CHRONICLES
Check out the under construction website here.
PC pages and About the game are up.
Hope you like them!

ITS 4:20AM HERE IN LOS ANGELES
And I can't seem to get any sleep. Been taking some meds to help with the phlegm but it has the nasty side effect of keeping me up too. Guess that just took no-drowsy to whole new level, eh? Coughing less intermittently now, but my throat is so hoarse I speak with the voice of a someone who can portray a fucking Orc for LOTR. Well, here's hoping its all back to normal by the time I get home for my gaming.

Mom and sister were busy struggling to prep their things for their flight home tomorrow. Both had fallen asleep hours ago when their bodies reminded them that they needed to grab some rest. Me, am just riding the night with my throat all tingly and itchy each time I try to lie down. Every cough, when they come, feels like an attempt to rip my damn lungs out of my chest. Yep, its a sign to quit or at least stop for a few weeks or two.

Was browsing through the blogs I love to read and felt another unnecessary pang of emotional jealousy. Read the hilarious exploits of some friends of mine and wondered why I was never handed a particular quiz. Saw the interesting pictures from the recent convention and felt slightly frustrated it had to happen when I was out of the country. At least I felt a surge of joy when I realised I will be around for Neil Gaiman's book signing; I mistook his July trip to be June. Ultimately, however, I felt once again those annoying frustrations of being detached and far from the minds of those I felt were my friends and wondered if I am just expecting too much or seeing more than was hoped to be noticed.

Heck, even as I write this I'm already wondering who'll be the first one to tell me I'm over-reacting, and who'll be the first one to realise I'm really just choosing to be vulnerably emotionally honest right now.

Having another see-saw moment of "Wish I was home, wish I could stay longer" going on in my head. Lifehouse is playing this 23 - 24 here in Los Angeles for an acoustic concert which is making me wish I could stay longer. So is Alanis, and she's focussing on songs from her original album to boot. But then again, here looms another weekend and I always want to have my gaming happen on weekends. There, too, is the coming promise of other things to do once I get home (things which I rather not elaborate on, I must admit).

Finished reading a bunch of the stuff I had bought. Still searching for a copy of Secret of Zir'An, which annoyingly is not available in bookstores yet. Have yet to find an actual role-playing games shop near our area, nor met with Angela Paman or Ma-an Acunsion who promised to show me around. And frustratingly, yes, I am sick.
Still sick. Annoying sick.

I think the other definition for this is slightly depressed.

CONGRATULATIONS BRO!!!

My brother Mike is now a proud MBA Graduate of USC.  May this lead to even more and more glorious moments and wonderful opporunities in life!  I am very happy for him!

NOT FEELING TOO WELL
Stuck at bed today with my throat gnarly and my coughing quite frequent. Sad that I have to be feeling ill today of all nights considering today is my brother's Graduation Day and many of my friends online today are too busy to chat.

My sister-in-law, Ives, offered me a bunch of Sav-on medicines for cough and phlegm, but I opted to avoid them considering the common drug here Advil is something I am allergic to. So am just immersing myself into a liquid theraphy with lots of juice, water and fluids to help melt the phlegm. Also drinking the Clusivol that I brought from the Philippines; hopefully the shot of multivitamins helps me overcome my current "Marge-voice".

Feeling slight chills too so here's hoping it ain't a slowly incubating fever. The last thing I need right now is to really get full-blown sick. That would just really, really, REALLY make my day.

MY PURCHASES SO FAR...

See here the items, books, dice and other stuff I have bought here at Los Angeles for myself so far.  These are far from complete (with the Exalted Alchemicals, the other pasalubongs and the personal bilins not present in the pictures) but does give you an idea of what I have been focussing on getting while I am here. 

WEEK 2 AT LOS ANGELES

Starting off with the Memorial Day Weekend, Week 2 in Los Angeles was one with even more activities packed in so few days of time.  The Gamex 2005 convention at the Westin Hotel along Century Blvd (near LAX) kicked off to a slow start with Friday (the 27th) being a day no one signs up for my games.  To think I had been at the hotel at 3:00p.m. for my 6:00p.m. game only to spend it waiting and hanging around.  Saturday was kinder with two of my games having people in them.  Sunday was the highlight, with one game that started at 3:00p.m. stretching all the way til 2:00a.m.   The funnier thing about it:  I had two players that time (Dana, who is pictured below, and Eddie, who sadly I didn't get to photograph) who asked me to have a break by seven so they could leave and sign up for a  Murder LARP which was to start at 8:00p.m.  But the game was so engaging that NONE of us remembered to check the time.  And its thanks to THAT game that now I have a small following of people who are hoping to see me next year to play in one of my games.  Argh... here's hoping I can make it.

On the very day the Convention ended (the 30th) I then had a night-out with Moose Maravilla who drove all the way from San Francisco to hang out.  On his prompting, I gave him directions to drive to West Hollywood and we both found out how... boring the Los Angeles nightlife can be (a fact only discernable if you ever spent at least a night having a gimmick with friends at Malate).   We decided to take a walk and amused ourselves with our cameras, a tree stump (see below), and had a close encounter with a dog.

The next evening (the 31st) was a trip to Northridge Mall to watch a movie at the Pacific Theaters.  Not wanting to endure another long period of wooden acting from Episode 3, we decided to see the Adam Sandler comedy "The Longest Yard" and found ourselves enjoying it despite the negative reviews that peppered the papers.  Grabbed a bite to eat at IN AND OUT BURGER and discovered that Los Angeles does still serve milkshakes really nicely thick.  Someone at Mc Donalds in the Philippines better try to bring them back!