One down...
Finished my script for Ten Years After, the Alamat Comics 10th Anniversary special which I think will be coming out late this year. I wonder if Budjette and whoever else will be editting the thing (I suspect David Hontiveros may be involved too) will actually find themselves happy with what I wrote. I dunno. Somewhere along the line of growing up, I failed to take the lessons on self-esteem and believing my work is good enough. Had it not been for friends like Carlo Vergara, Oliver Pulumbarit, Benedict Bartolome, and many others, I probably would have quit making comics a long time ago.
Well, that's one down.
Back to SIGLO and my project with Quark Henares.
And after that, its DILIMAN issue 13.
HEhehehheheh....
Wednesday, March 31, 2004
Tuesday, March 30, 2004
Php15,000 for a Php12,000 peso loan
Got my approval for an SSS loan today. I was hoping to get the Php15,000 loan so I can get down and purchase those things I needed, as well as settle some bills and stuff. Instead, I get Php12,000 and upon computation of all monthly amortization, additional service charges and shit like that, I will end up paying them back at least 1Php15,000.
Again, someone tell me why I am still here.
Condolences to my Ate Ives
Ate Ives' mom passed away last Monday at around 6:00a.m. That, to my recollection, was about the time I woke up without hearing any alarm and instead having a dream about a huge mansion of a house, water overflowing everywhere and a sudden urge to try climbing some bamboo poles. Whether there is any significance or not with the two events remains to be seen. Most likely there isn't any I guess.
But I do feel sad for Ate Ives. Losing someone close to you will always be an event that isn't easy to bear. Sometimes it takes a few hours, or maybe even a few days before the impact really hits you. And with her husband, my Kuya Mike all the way in Los Angeles... it might be tough for her and the two kids.
Sigh.
Got my approval for an SSS loan today. I was hoping to get the Php15,000 loan so I can get down and purchase those things I needed, as well as settle some bills and stuff. Instead, I get Php12,000 and upon computation of all monthly amortization, additional service charges and shit like that, I will end up paying them back at least 1Php15,000.
Again, someone tell me why I am still here.
Condolences to my Ate Ives
Ate Ives' mom passed away last Monday at around 6:00a.m. That, to my recollection, was about the time I woke up without hearing any alarm and instead having a dream about a huge mansion of a house, water overflowing everywhere and a sudden urge to try climbing some bamboo poles. Whether there is any significance or not with the two events remains to be seen. Most likely there isn't any I guess.
But I do feel sad for Ate Ives. Losing someone close to you will always be an event that isn't easy to bear. Sometimes it takes a few hours, or maybe even a few days before the impact really hits you. And with her husband, my Kuya Mike all the way in Los Angeles... it might be tough for her and the two kids.
Sigh.
Friday, March 26, 2004
According to Circumcision Seen as Method to Block HIV Infection
LONDON (Reuters) - Circumcised men are less likely to be infected with the virus that causes AIDS because of biological reasons and not less risky behavior, scientists said on Friday. Studies have shown that men whose foreskin has been removed are six to eight times less likely to become HIV positive but there has been some debate about the reason for the lower infection rate.
Researchers at Johns Hopkins University Medical School in Baltimore, Maryland found that circumcision had a protective effect against HIV, but not against other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as syphilis or gonorrhoea.
"The specificity of this relation suggests a biological rather than behavioral explanation for the protective effect of male circumcision against HIV," Dr Robert Bollinger said in a report in The Lancet medical journal. Although male circumcision is common in the United States, the practice varies throughout the world and is influenced by cultural and religious attitudes.
Okay, so a condom might not work because the HIV virus was said to be small enough to pass through the pores in Latex.... BUT foreskin helps stop it? Really.... that's just great. And since when was circumcision COMMON in the United States? Not from what I've heard.
LONDON (Reuters) - Circumcised men are less likely to be infected with the virus that causes AIDS because of biological reasons and not less risky behavior, scientists said on Friday. Studies have shown that men whose foreskin has been removed are six to eight times less likely to become HIV positive but there has been some debate about the reason for the lower infection rate.
Researchers at Johns Hopkins University Medical School in Baltimore, Maryland found that circumcision had a protective effect against HIV, but not against other sexually transmitted infections (STIs) such as syphilis or gonorrhoea.
"The specificity of this relation suggests a biological rather than behavioral explanation for the protective effect of male circumcision against HIV," Dr Robert Bollinger said in a report in The Lancet medical journal. Although male circumcision is common in the United States, the practice varies throughout the world and is influenced by cultural and religious attitudes.
Okay, so a condom might not work because the HIV virus was said to be small enough to pass through the pores in Latex.... BUT foreskin helps stop it? Really.... that's just great. And since when was circumcision COMMON in the United States? Not from what I've heard.
Thursday, March 25, 2004
I feel young again
Check this site out.
You gotta love the story about the Tanuki and the Tea Kettle.
Of course, here they translated tanuki to mean Badger.
Poor Tanukis. When will people know what you really are.
(racoon-dog)
Check this site out.
You gotta love the story about the Tanuki and the Tea Kettle.
Of course, here they translated tanuki to mean Badger.
Poor Tanukis. When will people know what you really are.
(racoon-dog)
Neck Deep in Exhaustion
Gosh.. Work has been so bad I get sleepy before the day is done.
One would think it was caused by puyat but no! I've been getting a lot of sleep too.
Maybe its lack of inspiration? Lack of satisfaction with my job? Lack of enthusiasm for my projects? Lack of comfort? Lack of sex? Lack of so many things that I actually lack a life?
I dunno.
But I do wish I get out of this rut soon.
The United States is starting to sound more appealing.
This is bad.
Gosh.. Work has been so bad I get sleepy before the day is done.
One would think it was caused by puyat but no! I've been getting a lot of sleep too.
Maybe its lack of inspiration? Lack of satisfaction with my job? Lack of enthusiasm for my projects? Lack of comfort? Lack of sex? Lack of so many things that I actually lack a life?
I dunno.
But I do wish I get out of this rut soon.
The United States is starting to sound more appealing.
This is bad.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
Strange day
Got a letter from someone whom I barely knew today. To be frank, I wish I didn't get this letter. Its freaky. Its disturbing. And it really made me feel dirty. Some time ago, I gave some words of support to a person who was helping around in my parent's house. She had an artistic ability, which would be sad if it was not permitted to grow, you see.
But sadly, my nice words were misconstrued and now, its turned into something more akin to an obssession.
And the letter, though most likely written with good intentions, has instead made me feel a hint of panic.
It was sent to my office, with numerous staples to seal it, and had pictures, numerous sheets of letters and both handwritten and type-written words.
Today, I told the guard not to let any guests of mine in unless I speak with them on the phone first. I also contacted my officemates and asked them to screen for me all visitors. I even am now reconsidering again changing my two phone numbers as well as making sure my apartment's address is not listed anywhere at home or in the office.
Freaky. This is really really freaky.
God, why me.
Got a letter from someone whom I barely knew today. To be frank, I wish I didn't get this letter. Its freaky. Its disturbing. And it really made me feel dirty. Some time ago, I gave some words of support to a person who was helping around in my parent's house. She had an artistic ability, which would be sad if it was not permitted to grow, you see.
But sadly, my nice words were misconstrued and now, its turned into something more akin to an obssession.
And the letter, though most likely written with good intentions, has instead made me feel a hint of panic.
It was sent to my office, with numerous staples to seal it, and had pictures, numerous sheets of letters and both handwritten and type-written words.
Today, I told the guard not to let any guests of mine in unless I speak with them on the phone first. I also contacted my officemates and asked them to screen for me all visitors. I even am now reconsidering again changing my two phone numbers as well as making sure my apartment's address is not listed anywhere at home or in the office.
Freaky. This is really really freaky.
God, why me.
Tuesday, March 23, 2004
Monday, March 22, 2004
Work Update: Tobie's Comics
Currently doing:
1) Thumbnails for Siglo:Passion story of Quark Henares.
Occasionally doing:
1) A few more pages for Love and Heartbreak collab project with Elbert Or.
2) Script for Alamat 10 year Anniversary story with Oliver Pulumbarit providing the artwork.
On odd occasions, working on
1) Next three pages for Bangungot
2) My plans for Tu, the ongoing quarterly collab with Gener Pedrina
Heard that San' To of Acid Ink Studios is finally out, but I don't have a copy yet of the issue so I don't know how that turned out. Here's hoping it was well received. Submitted also my two one-page contributions to Hey! Comic's coming Wag, Po Lolo (I don't really know the real title of the collab) and have yet to hear if they're good.
And currently available are:
Diliman - Which has been online for quite a while and has its 13th issue very delayed due to the sudden influx of other projects. Now I know why David Mack's Kabuki hasn't progressed either.
Nearly Forgotten - Partly cause I lost the feel for such introspection... and partly cause I don't have the camera.
Wan - Which sold a remarkably depressing 7 issues out of the 50 issues we had photocopied for distribution. Damn. I guess I really never was marketable. I need a cult following.
Tic. Tic. Tic. - Which remains listed in Scott McCloud's site.
All it takes is a sneeze - Which has been released in an obscure issue of the Malate Literary Folio of DLSU.
One shot - Which, looking back, was made at a time I was actually very matiyaga an artist.
So... looking at all that, I wonder if I should push through with these projects....
I mean, am I really touching people out there with my work
or are my friends just too... nice.. to tell me to stop working on such infantile attempts
at writing something witty.
Or drawing something nice.
Currently doing:
1) Thumbnails for Siglo:Passion story of Quark Henares.
Occasionally doing:
1) A few more pages for Love and Heartbreak collab project with Elbert Or.
2) Script for Alamat 10 year Anniversary story with Oliver Pulumbarit providing the artwork.
On odd occasions, working on
1) Next three pages for Bangungot
2) My plans for Tu, the ongoing quarterly collab with Gener Pedrina
Heard that San' To of Acid Ink Studios is finally out, but I don't have a copy yet of the issue so I don't know how that turned out. Here's hoping it was well received. Submitted also my two one-page contributions to Hey! Comic's coming Wag, Po Lolo (I don't really know the real title of the collab) and have yet to hear if they're good.
And currently available are:
Diliman - Which has been online for quite a while and has its 13th issue very delayed due to the sudden influx of other projects. Now I know why David Mack's Kabuki hasn't progressed either.
Nearly Forgotten - Partly cause I lost the feel for such introspection... and partly cause I don't have the camera.
Wan - Which sold a remarkably depressing 7 issues out of the 50 issues we had photocopied for distribution. Damn. I guess I really never was marketable. I need a cult following.
Tic. Tic. Tic. - Which remains listed in Scott McCloud's site.
All it takes is a sneeze - Which has been released in an obscure issue of the Malate Literary Folio of DLSU.
One shot - Which, looking back, was made at a time I was actually very matiyaga an artist.
So... looking at all that, I wonder if I should push through with these projects....
I mean, am I really touching people out there with my work
or are my friends just too... nice.. to tell me to stop working on such infantile attempts
at writing something witty.
Or drawing something nice.
Friday, March 19, 2004
Thursday, March 18, 2004
I FUCKED UP
I woke up at 6:00a.m. this morning when my left arm was assaulted by prickly needles and fell asleep painfully from cut circulation. Still groggy, I shifted position and hugged by bag closer. The cold was threatening to devour me, forcing me to bury my face beneath my jacket.
I woke a second time and it was 10:00a.m.
I missed the fucking teleconference.
So, with my pride on my foot and my face barely awake, I ran to the conference, said my apologies and explained that I have been working til the birth of dawn. And after believing that life and its ironies had done all that it had wanted to, and that there would be no added depths of frustration and misery upon poor ol me, one of the big bosses who was also in the conference turns to face me and asks ever so innocently:
"Kasama ka ba?"
Wah.... I wanna go to Silent Hill and disappear.
I woke up at 6:00a.m. this morning when my left arm was assaulted by prickly needles and fell asleep painfully from cut circulation. Still groggy, I shifted position and hugged by bag closer. The cold was threatening to devour me, forcing me to bury my face beneath my jacket.
I woke a second time and it was 10:00a.m.
I missed the fucking teleconference.
So, with my pride on my foot and my face barely awake, I ran to the conference, said my apologies and explained that I have been working til the birth of dawn. And after believing that life and its ironies had done all that it had wanted to, and that there would be no added depths of frustration and misery upon poor ol me, one of the big bosses who was also in the conference turns to face me and asks ever so innocently:
"Kasama ka ba?"
Wah.... I wanna go to Silent Hill and disappear.
I am not proud
Nope. I am not. Seth, please don't kill me for this.
Oliver, I know, I said I'll get rest soon.
And to everyone else, pardon this moment of utter infantile regression:
WAAAH!!!!
It's fucking 4:30a.m. and I am STILL working here at ABS-CBN Global for the Middle East Program guide (due in approximately 8 hours) and prepping for the teleconference which is to start in approximately 5 hours. Now, I just finished making templates for the Star Studio Magazine monthly ad, and two other commercials I have to have materials ready for by 11:00a.m. today.
And I didn't even bring extra clothes today.
Shit talaga.
I only hope they will let me home early later.
Putsa, kaya nga flexitime schedule diba? So I can actually set my schedule
to actually permit me a few hours of sleep damn it!
Sigh.
Someone offer me a Senior Graphics Artist position with a wage of 22,000 or higher, please?
I can also Art Direct commercials? Heck, I CAN direct with my buttload of experience with video production, theater, AND New York Film Academy learnings.
Any takers?
Nope. I am not. Seth, please don't kill me for this.
Oliver, I know, I said I'll get rest soon.
And to everyone else, pardon this moment of utter infantile regression:
WAAAH!!!!
It's fucking 4:30a.m. and I am STILL working here at ABS-CBN Global for the Middle East Program guide (due in approximately 8 hours) and prepping for the teleconference which is to start in approximately 5 hours. Now, I just finished making templates for the Star Studio Magazine monthly ad, and two other commercials I have to have materials ready for by 11:00a.m. today.
And I didn't even bring extra clothes today.
Shit talaga.
I only hope they will let me home early later.
Putsa, kaya nga flexitime schedule diba? So I can actually set my schedule
to actually permit me a few hours of sleep damn it!
Sigh.
Someone offer me a Senior Graphics Artist position with a wage of 22,000 or higher, please?
I can also Art Direct commercials? Heck, I CAN direct with my buttload of experience with video production, theater, AND New York Film Academy learnings.
Any takers?
Gollum's Song
performed by Emiliana Torrini
Where once was light
Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try
These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt, the blame!
And we will weep to be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home
So in the end
I'll be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn't try
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
You are lost
You can never go home
performed by Emiliana Torrini
Where once was light
Now darkness falls
Where once was love
Love is no more
Don't say goodbye
Don't say I didn't try
These tears we cry
Are falling rain
For all the lies you told us
The hurt, the blame!
And we will weep to be so alone
We are lost
We can never go home
So in the end
I'll be what I will be
No loyal friend
Was ever there for me
Now we say goodbye
We say you didn't try
These tears you cry
Have come too late
Take back the lies
The hurt, the blame!
And you will weep
When you face the end alone
You are lost
You can never go home
You are lost
You can never go home
Tuesday, March 16, 2004
The books are mine!!!!
Vinne be cursed for making me spend.
Purchased today two books that I really wanted. The Outcaste book for Exalted, and the Time of Judgment book for White Wolf. Though both books set me back almost Php3000 bucks, I would like to still believe they were purchases worth making. Now all I need is a job that doesn't require that much time so I can run games more often.
Also, got Quark Henares' script for Siglo:Passion today. Damn, the guy really has a lot of talent. Astig plot niya and once again I am having cold feet in doing justice to his script. Hay. I wish I could buy self-confidence by the bottle. Since I was jeered at and made fun of by certain people back in my college days, I guess I never really recovered from the emotional scarring. Nowadays, I'm made of stronger stuff, but I guess things that whack at your foundations during the younger years are really hard to get over.
I gotta do this. I gotta prove to myself I can do this.
Sigh.
Here's hoping I can.
Vinne be cursed for making me spend.
Purchased today two books that I really wanted. The Outcaste book for Exalted, and the Time of Judgment book for White Wolf. Though both books set me back almost Php3000 bucks, I would like to still believe they were purchases worth making. Now all I need is a job that doesn't require that much time so I can run games more often.
Also, got Quark Henares' script for Siglo:Passion today. Damn, the guy really has a lot of talent. Astig plot niya and once again I am having cold feet in doing justice to his script. Hay. I wish I could buy self-confidence by the bottle. Since I was jeered at and made fun of by certain people back in my college days, I guess I never really recovered from the emotional scarring. Nowadays, I'm made of stronger stuff, but I guess things that whack at your foundations during the younger years are really hard to get over.
I gotta do this. I gotta prove to myself I can do this.
Sigh.
Here's hoping I can.
Monday, March 15, 2004
Ah.. the 14th of March comes to an end..
And I finally will see money again.
God, I hate being poor for long periods of time.
I wonder if Vinnie can snag me a copy of Legion: Secret Files (that issue that connects to the 25-30 run) as well as the next two Orpheus books? Still, first on my list will be the coming TIME OF JUDGMENT book.
Money.
Can't buy me love..
but can buy me things that do bring temporary happiness.
And I finally will see money again.
God, I hate being poor for long periods of time.
I wonder if Vinnie can snag me a copy of Legion: Secret Files (that issue that connects to the 25-30 run) as well as the next two Orpheus books? Still, first on my list will be the coming TIME OF JUDGMENT book.
Money.
Can't buy me love..
but can buy me things that do bring temporary happiness.
Friday, March 12, 2004
I love you
Cause that's just what I am.
I could never turn away from you,
and leave you all alone..
yes I love you.
What more proof do you ask?
Show me any love that's greater than
the love I have shown to you.
Though you weigh no more than dust
placed on the scales, you rise.
Though your worth is just as much as sand
I love you just the same.
I am love.
I am love.
Though your sins be red as scarlet,
I will turn them white as snow.
Though your sins be red as crimson,
they mean nothing more to me.
For I made you and you're meant for me for all eternity.
I love you,
yes I love you.
I always will
love you.
Cause that's just what I am.
I could never turn away from you,
and leave you all alone..
yes I love you.
What more proof do you ask?
Show me any love that's greater than
the love I have shown to you.
Though you weigh no more than dust
placed on the scales, you rise.
Though your worth is just as much as sand
I love you just the same.
I am love.
I am love.
Though your sins be red as scarlet,
I will turn them white as snow.
Though your sins be red as crimson,
they mean nothing more to me.
For I made you and you're meant for me for all eternity.
I love you,
yes I love you.
I always will
love you.
The Passion of Christ
Officemate of mine was selling premier tickets. Php250 each. There ain't any reserved seating, but the price is okay for a movie that has been touted to be that good. I wonder though, if the world at large will be touched by it in the right way. Sadly, I really can't help but believe the world is filled with much more loonies than anything. This is a very imperfect world we live in, with much more pathetic losers and lowlifes than people worth knowing.
And the Passion of Christ might be just the excuse for them to use to start anti-semiticism or other similar atrocities.
Religions are dodgy business. Faith is what is important. Faith and the willingness to accept God's Grace.
Everything else... is just limited human attempts at comprehending something they do know is far greater than themselves, and yet choose to pretend they have encompassed in barely a few words.
Officemate of mine was selling premier tickets. Php250 each. There ain't any reserved seating, but the price is okay for a movie that has been touted to be that good. I wonder though, if the world at large will be touched by it in the right way. Sadly, I really can't help but believe the world is filled with much more loonies than anything. This is a very imperfect world we live in, with much more pathetic losers and lowlifes than people worth knowing.
And the Passion of Christ might be just the excuse for them to use to start anti-semiticism or other similar atrocities.
Religions are dodgy business. Faith is what is important. Faith and the willingness to accept God's Grace.
Everything else... is just limited human attempts at comprehending something they do know is far greater than themselves, and yet choose to pretend they have encompassed in barely a few words.
Thursday, March 11, 2004
Five things
1) I am still at work.
Please. Don't ask.
I hate having to be here right now.
2) I have not finished my comics nor my script.
Oli. Budjette. Dean. Quark. Nikki. Vinnie. Carl. Benedict. Ner. Elbert.
Sorry talaga.
3) I want to game more often.
But there is neither time, player interest nor venue to use.
Ah. Fuck.
4) My computer crashed last night.
All the words and letters and shit appeared as strange symbols. For a moment, I though I was going through a meme-invasion thing like in GLOBAL FREQUENCY. Then I realised it was some simple fucked up hacker messing with my stuff. Or maybe a virus. All I know is that it ate my fonts folder clean. And thankfully, my housemate Seth had a Windows installer to reinstall my stuff back.
Well, just the Operating System.
5) I am fucking frustrated beyond belief right now.
Seriously. Had I had a plane ticket right now?
I'd go to the United States, and never come back.
Right now.
Of course, by tomorrow, I might change my mind and head home.
1) I am still at work.
Please. Don't ask.
I hate having to be here right now.
2) I have not finished my comics nor my script.
Oli. Budjette. Dean. Quark. Nikki. Vinnie. Carl. Benedict. Ner. Elbert.
Sorry talaga.
3) I want to game more often.
But there is neither time, player interest nor venue to use.
Ah. Fuck.
4) My computer crashed last night.
All the words and letters and shit appeared as strange symbols. For a moment, I though I was going through a meme-invasion thing like in GLOBAL FREQUENCY. Then I realised it was some simple fucked up hacker messing with my stuff. Or maybe a virus. All I know is that it ate my fonts folder clean. And thankfully, my housemate Seth had a Windows installer to reinstall my stuff back.
Well, just the Operating System.
5) I am fucking frustrated beyond belief right now.
Seriously. Had I had a plane ticket right now?
I'd go to the United States, and never come back.
Right now.
Of course, by tomorrow, I might change my mind and head home.
Tuesday, March 09, 2004
Working, Rushing, Crying, Living
Got so many projects, its helping me stay alive:
Diliman
Bangungot
Nearly Forgotten
Love and Heartbreak
Siglo:Passion
Alamat Anniversary
Tu
Wag Po, Lolo
And just released
Wan
Tic. Tic. Tic.
All it takes is a sneeze
One shot
San'To
I guess I am active. I wonder if I'm considered any good though.
Got so many projects, its helping me stay alive:
Diliman
Bangungot
Nearly Forgotten
Love and Heartbreak
Siglo:Passion
Alamat Anniversary
Tu
Wag Po, Lolo
And just released
Wan
Tic. Tic. Tic.
All it takes is a sneeze
One shot
San'To
I guess I am active. I wonder if I'm considered any good though.
Saturday, March 06, 2004
"1,000 Words"
I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
but dreams could never fool me
not that easily
I acted so distant then
didnt say good-bye before you left
but i was listening
you'll fight your battles far for me
far too easily
Save your tears cause i'll come back
i could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
but still I swore
to hide the pain when i turned back the pages
shouting might have been the answer
what if i cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But now im not afriad to say whats in my heart
Oh A thousand words
have never been spoken
they'll fly to you
pressing over the time and distance holding you
suspended on silver wings!
a thousand words
one thousand confessions
will cradle you
making all of the pain you feel seem far away
they'll hold you forever!
The dream isnt over yet
Though i often say i can forget
i still re-live that day
you've been there with me all the way
i still hear you say
"wait for me, ill write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
but still i swore
to hide the doubt when i turned back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
what if I hung my head and said i couldn't wait?
but now im strong enough to know its not too late
Cause a thousand words
call out through the ages
they'll fly to you, even though we can't see
i know they're reaching you
suspended on silver wings!
oh a thousand words
one thousand embraces
will cradle you
making all of your weary days seem far away!
they'll hold you forever!
Oh a thousand words
have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home
and back into my arms
suspended on silver wings (oooohh!)
And a thousand words
call out through the ages
they'll cradle you
turning all of the loneliness to only days
they'll hold you forever!!!!!
Sung by: Jade from Sweetbox
I know that you're hiding things
Using gentle words to shelter me
Your words were like a dream
but dreams could never fool me
not that easily
I acted so distant then
didnt say good-bye before you left
but i was listening
you'll fight your battles far for me
far too easily
Save your tears cause i'll come back
i could hear that you whispered as you walked through that door
but still I swore
to hide the pain when i turned back the pages
shouting might have been the answer
what if i cried my eyes out and begged you not to depart?
But now im not afriad to say whats in my heart
Oh A thousand words
have never been spoken
they'll fly to you
pressing over the time and distance holding you
suspended on silver wings!
a thousand words
one thousand confessions
will cradle you
making all of the pain you feel seem far away
they'll hold you forever!
The dream isnt over yet
Though i often say i can forget
i still re-live that day
you've been there with me all the way
i still hear you say
"wait for me, ill write you letters"
I could see how you stammered with your eyes to the floor
but still i swore
to hide the doubt when i turned back the pages
Anger might have been the answer
what if I hung my head and said i couldn't wait?
but now im strong enough to know its not too late
Cause a thousand words
call out through the ages
they'll fly to you, even though we can't see
i know they're reaching you
suspended on silver wings!
oh a thousand words
one thousand embraces
will cradle you
making all of your weary days seem far away!
they'll hold you forever!
Oh a thousand words
have never been spoken
They'll fly to you
They'll carry you home
and back into my arms
suspended on silver wings (oooohh!)
And a thousand words
call out through the ages
they'll cradle you
turning all of the loneliness to only days
they'll hold you forever!!!!!
Sung by: Jade from Sweetbox
Friday, March 05, 2004
Good way to end a day
A good turn to the end of the really taxing day, it seems. First, the office finally informed me that my AWOL status is removed. I'll be getting my back pay next salary day, which is good. Forced savings and all that.
Then, there's the factor of having gotten some of my emotional endurance back. Been tough working while emotionally drained and depressed. Smiled a few times tonight, and found myself enjoying a delightful look back at roleplaying games and computer games with John boy and Seth.
Finally, found myself revving for the coming fifth game session of Gehenna. Working on the website too.
Should have it up within the next two weeks.
Been drawing and writing like hell. Got so many projects lined up I don't know how I'll manage them all. The 16 pages stuff for El is going nicely and I believe I should have it done before March ends. Then there's the Alamat story which Oliver Pulumbarit will be illustrating. There's the second Tobie - Ner collab on the works which, if the Gods of Art are kind, shall see the light of day come late April or early May. Finally, there's the coming Passion project which has nothing to do with Mel Gibson, but damn, its still something I really am excited about.
Life is good.
Even when you're mostly trudgling along through the mud.
A good turn to the end of the really taxing day, it seems. First, the office finally informed me that my AWOL status is removed. I'll be getting my back pay next salary day, which is good. Forced savings and all that.
Then, there's the factor of having gotten some of my emotional endurance back. Been tough working while emotionally drained and depressed. Smiled a few times tonight, and found myself enjoying a delightful look back at roleplaying games and computer games with John boy and Seth.
Finally, found myself revving for the coming fifth game session of Gehenna. Working on the website too.
Should have it up within the next two weeks.
Been drawing and writing like hell. Got so many projects lined up I don't know how I'll manage them all. The 16 pages stuff for El is going nicely and I believe I should have it done before March ends. Then there's the Alamat story which Oliver Pulumbarit will be illustrating. There's the second Tobie - Ner collab on the works which, if the Gods of Art are kind, shall see the light of day come late April or early May. Finally, there's the coming Passion project which has nothing to do with Mel Gibson, but damn, its still something I really am excited about.
Life is good.
Even when you're mostly trudgling along through the mud.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
In approximately five hours...
..I will be confronting the Administration, the Human Resources department and possibly the Finance Department with my boss regarding the Absent Without Leave status I was given during my trip to the United States.
David and Goliath... I tell you.
David and Goliath.
I just wish I could poke someone's eyes out too.
..I will be confronting the Administration, the Human Resources department and possibly the Finance Department with my boss regarding the Absent Without Leave status I was given during my trip to the United States.
David and Goliath... I tell you.
David and Goliath.
I just wish I could poke someone's eyes out too.
Wednesday, March 03, 2004
Silent Hill 4
Trailer and write-up is over here.
Hurry while the feature is still up.
Enjoy.
Just fifteen more minutes til I am free.
Fourteen and fifty-nine seconds...
Fourteen and fifty-eight...
Trailer and write-up is over here.
Hurry while the feature is still up.
Enjoy.
Just fifteen more minutes til I am free.
Fourteen and fifty-nine seconds...
Fourteen and fifty-eight...
Bad combinations
damn. listening to The Steward of Gondor featuring Billy Boyd, while reading everyone else's blog on how successful the SIGLO: FREEDOM launching was and realizing i wasn't there and all that just doesn't mix well for an over-worked wanna-be comic artist/writer such as myself. suddenly, i felt like a deer staring at the headlights of truth and irony: truth that i just really have to decide where my priorities lie. and irony: irony in the sense that each step i take towards something i want always means something else that i wish i didn't let go off. am i really that unhappy? am i really that impossible to make content? or am i just really pissed off that each and every fucking day of my life is a struggle of having to give in to other's wants, needs and desires. and that the very few moments i try to be just a little bit selfish, the world whacks me on the head with a reminder how everyone else in seems to be having a swell time without me.
i don't even think i'm making sense to myself anymore.
argh. i'm a people person, i always told myself. i love being around people who accept me for being myself.
i think i know why now:
cause when i'm alone. i realise.
deep down, maybe i don't like who i am.
damn. listening to The Steward of Gondor featuring Billy Boyd, while reading everyone else's blog on how successful the SIGLO: FREEDOM launching was and realizing i wasn't there and all that just doesn't mix well for an over-worked wanna-be comic artist/writer such as myself. suddenly, i felt like a deer staring at the headlights of truth and irony: truth that i just really have to decide where my priorities lie. and irony: irony in the sense that each step i take towards something i want always means something else that i wish i didn't let go off. am i really that unhappy? am i really that impossible to make content? or am i just really pissed off that each and every fucking day of my life is a struggle of having to give in to other's wants, needs and desires. and that the very few moments i try to be just a little bit selfish, the world whacks me on the head with a reminder how everyone else in seems to be having a swell time without me.
i don't even think i'm making sense to myself anymore.
argh. i'm a people person, i always told myself. i love being around people who accept me for being myself.
i think i know why now:
cause when i'm alone. i realise.
deep down, maybe i don't like who i am.
Paying it forward has its benefits
Passed by Mega Mall today to deliver Vinnie's copy of White Wolf's Dragon-blooded book for their Exalted game line. Also, brought with me a few chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies to share. Was hoping that the rest of the crew were there but alas (or should I say luckily, eh Vin?) there wasn't anyone from the comic crew present.
Nabs showed up, happily partaking on the cookie chomping just as Vinnie offered to me the next two installments of the Orpheus line as payment for the books (and the cookies, according to him)! Seriously, it was a hard exchange to accept since I was both feeling a tad guilty for the fact I was getting more than he was giving, and because I really liked Orpheus but was trying to focus my book-purchasing decisions on Vampire, Exalted and the coming Time of Judgment book to know how Changeling: The Dreaming, Kindred of the East, Hunter: The Reckoning, Mummy and Demon: the Fallen actually end.
An old officemate of mine named Ford showed up too. Nice fellow, that guy. Miss working with him. But hey, at least he had the courage to seek the greener pastures eh?
Then eventually, headed off with Seth to grab some dinner at RACKS (which we discovered no longer exists. So we ended up eating at KFC instead with their foromi-mutated chickens.) before finally making our way back to the apartment to relax for the remainder of the night.
Still overwhelmed by the good graces Vinnie gave me. I mean, seriously... its days like this I feel pretty... appreciated.
Thanks Vinnie!
Passed by Mega Mall today to deliver Vinnie's copy of White Wolf's Dragon-blooded book for their Exalted game line. Also, brought with me a few chocolate chip cookies and oatmeal raisin cookies to share. Was hoping that the rest of the crew were there but alas (or should I say luckily, eh Vin?) there wasn't anyone from the comic crew present.
Nabs showed up, happily partaking on the cookie chomping just as Vinnie offered to me the next two installments of the Orpheus line as payment for the books (and the cookies, according to him)! Seriously, it was a hard exchange to accept since I was both feeling a tad guilty for the fact I was getting more than he was giving, and because I really liked Orpheus but was trying to focus my book-purchasing decisions on Vampire, Exalted and the coming Time of Judgment book to know how Changeling: The Dreaming, Kindred of the East, Hunter: The Reckoning, Mummy and Demon: the Fallen actually end.
An old officemate of mine named Ford showed up too. Nice fellow, that guy. Miss working with him. But hey, at least he had the courage to seek the greener pastures eh?
Then eventually, headed off with Seth to grab some dinner at RACKS (which we discovered no longer exists. So we ended up eating at KFC instead with their foromi-mutated chickens.) before finally making our way back to the apartment to relax for the remainder of the night.
Still overwhelmed by the good graces Vinnie gave me. I mean, seriously... its days like this I feel pretty... appreciated.
Thanks Vinnie!
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